@0600-0700 at Eternal Church

We humbly offer this pre-blast as we prepare our hearts and minds for the next conversation, and the important work ahead. These are some of the thoughts and questions that arose as we processed our last meeting of 21 HIM. We hope this will serve to spark thought and further the discussion. We ask that you pray and think about it, and come with some ideas for action.

Background and action to date

This initiative was born out of the strong desire of many PAX to do something following the shooting death of Keith Scott, an African American man, by a Charlotte police officer and the subsequent protests in and around Charlotte. The shooting and events following personalized and localized a recurring and deeply troubling national narrative, bringing to light and placing at our doorstep the undeniable racial divide right in our communities. (Feelings of separation, misunderstanding and mistrust have been further exacerbated by the outcome of our presidential election.)

We men are “fixers” by nature, and the men of F3 began important work several weeks ago with the sharing of empirical facts and professional and personal life experiences from Fellini, Figaro and Deacon.

This was followed by a “round-table” discussion, with many PAX asking questions and offering ideas about how we can address the lack of diversity in our ranks, and find ways to build and nurture empathy both in F3 and our communities at large.

Next Conversation is to agree on vision and agree on tactics 

1. The WHAT: What are the goals of this initiative?

Is it to… “More intentionally invigorate male community leadership through small work-out groups across all ethnic and racial groups within our community”

If so, how is this best accomplished? Can we accept with incremental, intentional (but organic) Emotional Headocking (EH) and outreach? Or is it best accomplished by swinging for the fence and partnering with houses of worship or other organizations and asking for a chance to present in front of their congregation or group in a Presentation Headlock (PH)

Is it changing the hearts and minds of PAX who may lack empathy and understanding?

Empathy cannot be forced; it can only be nurtured. Otherwise, integration would have solved racism years ago. One of the most interesting and profound things heard Saturday was that the socioeconomic makeup and segregation of communities vary drastically from F3 region to region. “It’s not like it is in Charlotte or Fort Mill.” These realities predicate the need for multiple methods of outreach. Some of these will be more challenging than others based on the specific living and working conditions of area residents.

F3 has the “secret sauce” and this cannot be taken lightly. The formula is proven. Workouts (First F) is where this all begins. It is this weekly (or multiple-times weekly) interactions that is the foundation of trust and the bonds of brotherhood.

2. The HOW: Tactics For Initiative (Both In and Out of F3)

Empathy and understanding can result from efforts in many different venues. In addition to PAX diversity, there are other ways HIMs can become involved and make a positive impact in the community. These efforts can raise awareness of F3 and its mission, which in turn makes EH and PH more successful.

Some possible tactics include (let’s prioritize 2-3 idea):

• Make “Empathy” a Theme of the Month
• Grow involvement of existing outreach and initiatives that allow for interracial interaction such as Let Me Run and mentoring organizations like Boys Club.
• Reach out to African-American houses of worship, community leaders and civic organizations, sharing the F3 mission of invigorating male leadership, and our goal of building diversity.

Teaching empathy. Displaying empathy. Providing opportunities to develop empathy through intentional interactions and encounters. All of these things will work to move the needle.

There are very real barriers to get men to post, and if they do, to come back. And these reasons have nothing to do with race. Time of day. Work schedule. Life and family situation. Temperature and the cost of proper winter attire. These realities should be factors as we think about how we move forward, and measure the results of our efforts.