At 1910 (7:10pm) on 26 April 1982 YHC entered the world. Its been 37 years since then, I’ve learned a lot, most of it the hard way. I hoped to share a little of the knowledge I’ve accumulated from my short time here on earth. Punch List arrived and sang me the most beautiful version of Happy Birthday I’ve heard in a while. Dude can sing.
The clock struck 0515 and off we went for a quick(ish) mosey through the gates and onto the field. The Q-drenalin was flowing and there was talk of the abnormally quick pace I was setting. We circled up near the far endzone for our warm-up. 10 slow windmills and 10 Ranger merkins (thumbs on nipples) that was it, warm-up complete. Things were about to get crazy and everyone would be plenty warm soon enough. I told the PAX to line up on the Goal line for the Birthday beat down I had planned. I like to make things hard whenever I am given the opportunity to lead. To be honest, my goal each time is to make myself throw up. I’ve yet to do it, but, we all have dreams.
MEAT AND ‘TADERS
Starting at the Goal line, perform 1 Burpee, Bear Crawl 10yrd, 2 Squats, B.C. 10yrd, 3 Burps (from the front leaning rest, bring feet in towards hands then shoot them back out), B.C. 10yrd, 4 Merkins, B.C. 10yrd, 5 Star Jumps, B.C. 10yrd, 6 Burpees, B.C. 10yrd, 7 squats, bc 10yrd, 8 Burps, bc 10yrd, 9 Merkins, bc 10yrd, 10 Star Jumps, bc 10yrd to goal line.
I quickly realised this workout might be the one that makes me get sick, Excellent. While the PAX caught their breath in the end zone, I shared a little bit about where I was 10yrs ago. I had just gotten out of the Army. Fresh off of my second deployment, 15 months. My first deployment was 12 months. 27 months of my life spent in a country where 1/2 the people wanted to murder me and it felt like a 1/4 of them tried. There were many days in Iraq that I felt like i wouldn’t make it through the day. There were 100’s of times where i was convinced “this is it, this is where we die, on a roof, in Iraq, surrounded by terrorists.” When I left the Army, my thoughts went from, “I might not make it through today,” to “I dont want to make it through today.” I spent way too much time drinking and trying to forget. I was lost and wasnt sure i would make it back.
At the goal line, 11 Burpees, Lunge Walk 10yrd b/c that was what Strait Up was doing. We lunged in between each exercise, 12 Squats, 13 Burps, 14 Merkins, 15 Star Jumps, 16 Burpees, 17 Squats, 18 Burps, 19 Merkins, 20 Star Jumps, End Zone.
This second round woke the PAX up, the complaining finally got started. I told Shield a few weeks ago, before his VQ, that the sooner the PAX start complaining, the better he is doing. I checked my clock, we were a little ahead of schedule. Time to share a little bit more about my journey. When you first enter Basic Training, you are introduced to the concept of a Battle Buddy. A soldier and his battle buddy go everyehwere together. You are not allowed to do anything without your battle buddy in Basic. Need to ask the Drill Seargent a question, you had better grab your battle buddy to do so. They wont talk to you alone. My guess is bc of abuse allegations. After Basic Training, the battle buddy concept continues on. When you deploy to a war zone, your battle buddy is even more important. I was an infantry line medic, I really enjoyed my job. I got to fly in helicopters, shoot guns at people, kick in doors, arrest terrorists, and so much more. Part of being a line medic is earning the trust of your infantry guys. Sometimes the 30 of us might be miles away from any kind of ground support. If something happened and someone was to get hurt, I was the only person there with any chance of keeping them alive until a medivac helicopter could come get them. They trusted me with thier lives, and I trusted them to keep me safe when I turned my back, put my gun down, and started working on our friends. I told the PAX that I had battle buddies that if I called them and said, hey I’m bringing a body to you, they wouldn’t ask questions, they would just start digging a hole. I clarified, that I WAS NOT asking any of the PAX to dig me a body hole.
21 Burpees on the goal line, Power Skip between exercises, 22 Squats, 23 Burps, 24 Merkins, 25 Star Jumps, 26 Burpees, 27 Squats, 28 Burps, 29 Merkins, 30 Star Jumps, power skip into the endzone for a little break and more sharing.
This round of exercises really got them complaining, I was told that I would probably spend my next birthday alone if this was my idea of a good party. I didn’t know I didn’t have friends until I found F3. I had my wife and kids, but no guy friends. Being friendless become my normal. I did everything with my family or alone. I was a sad clown. After I started doing F3, I found my people, again. I had a group of guys who trusted me and cared about me. I found 2 guys who love and care for me in Wegmans and Punch List, my shield locks. I’m no loger alone, I have a platoon again.
We were still ahead of schedule, time for the final round. I added the Bear Crawls back in to slow us down a bit. 31 Burpees, 32 Squats, 33 Burps, 34 Merkins, 35 Star Jumps, 36 Burpees, 37 Squats. That was it, that was my Birthday beat down, My Birthday Build a Burpee.
I shared a little more, about how I’ve been trying to live me life. I mentioned earlier that there were days in Iraq that I felt, for sure, were gonna be my last days on earth. I’ve started to try and live each day like it was my last. Love your wife like its the last day you get to do so. Kiss her each day like its your last time getting to kiss her. Love your kids, hold them, make sure they know you love everthing about them. Tell them how awesome you know they are. Today could be your last. Dont let the last memory your family has of you, is you being a butthole. I didnt think anyone would make it to 37. Straight Up and Punch List (who is using vegan cocain) made it to the end. Most of us came up short. That was the idea, I didnt want anyone to finish, bc no matter how hard we try, we will never defeat time.
Thank You Harry Carry for this opportunity to lead. Thanks Birdcage for letting me take your Q. And thank you to everyone who showed up, knowind YHC was on Q and I was gonna try and kill us.