A Knightly tale of Heroism

On 1 September in the year of our lord 2023 seven brave souls ventured into the depths of the gloom to participate in a physical and emotional journey that tested their mettle and challenged their sacred sense of honor.

With the charisma of a popinjay and the determination of Atlas himself I provided a disclaimer that forewarned those that dared to enter into this endeavor of the dangers that lurked around every corner.

After my short oratory, inspired by my call to action, and with no fear on the danger, we were off on our quest to vanquish the scourge of the “Sad Clown” and triumph over apathy.

On our way to our first physical test we encountered a BEAST of unparrelled furor and rage. Some legends say the mere sight of this beast traveling portends bad luck and misfortune. (It was a black cat) Nevertheless, undaunted, we continued our quest.

Finally we arrived at our first destination, the church of Luther. We did not nail anything to a door but we did test our selves with the following exercises:

SSH 15 (IC)
Windmill 10 (IC)
Mnt Climbers 20 (IC)
Stretch
Plank Jack 15 (IC)
Michael Phelps 10 (IC)

With our first task complete we ventured off into the good night.(err morning I guess…it was still dark anyway)

After crossing the road of Gold Hills we descended ever so gracefully into the parking lot of “Let’s Crab”. It was there that our merry band first encountered disunion in our ranks as Sir Skipper of Ohio regaled us all with his tales of dining woe at said establishment. To the contrary, Sir Slowest of Jams of the Island that is quite Long stated that his father was quite fond of said food hall. They of course then settled their debate as gentleman often do with a duel. (not true but we should’ve done this)

While we pondered these questions the rest of our company engaged in the following physical exertion:

X 3 Sets
30 seconds Merkins
15 seconds rest
30 seconds Squats
15 seconds rest
30 seconds LBC’s
15 seconds rest
30 seconds Burpees
15 seconds rest.

Upon completion of our task we ventured back out into the darkness. Passing a poultry dispensary we crossed over the road of 160 and ended this portion of our journey at a crossroads. (literally the parking lot of the bar/restaurant crossroads…the former lake wylie brewery)

It was here where Sir Mainframe raised the important point of dental care and the cost associated with this noble pursuit. We all decided that we are in the wrong vocation and to get over our sorrow we engaged in the following physical exertion:

X 3 Sets
30 seconds HR Merkins
15 seconds rest
30 seconds Lunges
15 seconds rest
30 seconds Flutters
15 seconds rest
30 seconds Burpees
15 seconds rest.

After this trial was satisfied we again pressed on galloping down the road like stallions to our next destination and our final test of manhood and endurance. Circling up, Sir Slowest of Jams remarked on one his past battle wounds in which he is now unable to wear his undergarments of choice. We all contemplated this tragedy as we begun our last physical test before our tale of trial would conclude:

X 3 Sets

30 seconds Diamond Merkins
15 seconds rest
30 seconds BBS/Hammers
15 seconds rest
30 seconds Burpees
15 seconds rest.

Upon completion of our final test we ventured back to where our journey began. Some, wept, some bled all basked in the morning light as the trials and tribulations of the past 45 minutes washed over us. With little time left on our journey together we circled up and all shared our plans for the future, now that our honor has been restored. (Most of us are cooking out and participating in Fantasy Football drafts this weekend)

It was indeed an honor…and humbling to lead such a sturdy group of men on this adventure. Until we meet again!

Fare thee Well!

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Football!!!! (Or something like it…)

Nice Cool(ish) morning here at the Stockade.
So typically my Q’s involve a lot of running, merkins, and of course Burpees. Today though, I was looking forward to Week 0 of College Football and wanted to do something a little different. So myself and my fellow pax did a F3 inspired football Combine.

Brief run to the parking lot of Grace church where I had some cones laid out and some plans to push the Pax but have some fun.

Warmup:

SSH: 43 IC (for Troy Polamalu)
Windmills : 7 IC (For Big Ben the QB not the Clock)
Plank Jacks: 14 IC (for the last Super bowl won by the “Super Steelers” )
LBC’s 32 IC ( For PSU and Steeler Star Franco Harris)

Round 1: 2:00 of Jump Squats
Recovery Lap
Round 2: 2:00 of Merkins (first minute was all hand-release second minute was traditional)
Recovery Lap
Round 3 : 20 Yrd Broad Jump
Recovery Lap
Round 4: 20 Yrd Shuttle Run
Recovery Lap
Round 5: “Hands Drill” We partnered up and played catch with a football while the rest of the Pax would run a lap. Switched out until everyone got a turn.

Round 6: The reason we all were here. The 40 yrd Dash!

The times were unofficial but still proud to say we have some burners here in the Fort:

Italian Job : 4.37
Slow Jams 4.57
Half Shell: 4.52
Skipper: 4.50
Grassy Knoll: 4.49
FishTix: 4.44
YHC: 3.2 (world record)   Again….I said it was unofficial.

After the dash we divided up into 2 teams with YHC as the full time QB. Team Fishtix defeated Team Slow Jams 1-0. My QB rating was sub 70 but I had 1 TD with 1 INT.  

Some takeaways:

I should get a brighter ball
Italian Job is as quick as a hiccup.
Half Shell is an offensive genius. (just didn’t have a QB who could execute)
Skipper has really good hands (especially considering that no one could really see the ball)
Being QB is hard.

Fishtix was the MVP with the game sealing INT.  His trophy and the team championship rings are pending.

Today’s workout was not a traditional workout. There were no coupons (well other than the football), no miles and no pearls on a string. That said, the fellowship was outstanding, we did get some exercise in and the best part nobody tore a hamstring.

Thanks to all that came out. Appreciate any opportunity to lead.

All the best!

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Football = Rugby? American? European?

WARMUP: very slow windmills, very slow low slow squats, IW, Morrocan nightclubs
THE THANG: 2 rounds of suicides with LBCs at the end of each, 5 rounds of rugby sprints, mossy to oil change back lot for 2 rounds of step ups and dips, mossy to HT wall for merkin murders (first pax run to opposite wall and back while all PaX do merkins, and then move down the line). Missy back for 2 more rounds of rugby sprints, then 5 min of Mary
MARY:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT: Walker and his family loss, patience, schools, health

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Black Diamond is uncovered at The Stockade

Warm-up began with short mosey to church parking lot. Some pax were lucky enough to carry a sandbag. Teams of three were formed, luckily we had just enough to form six teams. Seven rounds of exercises, team members rotated to each exercise. The first exercise (motion) acted as the clock. Once complete, rotate to next exercise.

Round Motion Exercise 1 Exercise 2
1 Run to church Squat with SB SSHs
2 Sandbag carry H/R Merkin LBCs
3 Inch Worm merkins Flutter/press Calf Raise
4 Sandbag toss Shoulder Taps Jump Squats
5 Burpee Broad Jump Diamond Merkin S. Press
6 Lunge walk w/bag Carolina Dry Dock Hello Dollies
7 Bear Crawl Man Maker American H

Most got through round 6, need to adjust cone distance or save the workout for 1hr.
Great job everyone!

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Flexing

We spent most of our time on challenges that @Mainframe “could have accomplished 20 years ago.”
Notes: @Peta needs a side career doing voice overs
   @Joe Lyons (F3 Long Duck) is actually from GA, which makes the bulldog thing understandable
   @Slapshot and @fishstix stayed towards the 6 to make YHC feel like the workout was challenging
   @SouptoNuts brought a co-worker (Joe Blow) along to commiserate. He name dropped @Royale_F3
   @photobomb and @Badlands were psychic on the lack of running and got more in on their own. For an extra fee, they’ll do tarot card readings
   @Sprocket is considering building a company based around puzzles of Mark Rothko paintings
   @Shady & @Esso seemed enamored with how many picnic benches you can fit under an awning

Kept it light on running as recovering from giving blood apparently takes me a long while. Spent a lot of time on mobility and leg exercises. And hey, you can learn a lot on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuLyss7FkFc

The pistol squats after a ton of lunge walking pissed guys off. 🙂

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Elite 8

WARMUP: mosey to Grace presby with various exercises including burpees sprinkled in to honor the site q
THE THANG: 7 rounds of 7 and 23’s – burpees and LBC’s or squats depending on proximity to the dumpster. After comments and chatter about oderiferous emanations we moseyed to the office park for 5 rounds of 10-10-10-5: squats, flutters, hand release merkins and burpees.

Mosey at 0557 to COT for a 0600 arrival

MARY: no time
ANNOUNCEMENTS: YHTBT
COT:5th core principle

Thanks for the callout, Slapshot. Always an honor to lead.

Gratefully,
Cyclops

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Smelly Stockade

WARMUP: Lap around the parking lot. SSHs, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, Plank Stretches
THE THANG:
The Accumulator:

Do the exercise and take a lap around the parking lot. Rinse and Repeat, accumulating each exercise.

10 Merkins – 20 Flutter Kicks – 20 Squats – 30 Plank Punches – 20 LBC’s – 20 Carolina Dry Docks – 10 Burpees
We had addition time to do two more rounds, dropped the burpees and Carolina Dry Docks.

Great Job Everyone!

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Avoid the Joker

WARMUP: run, stretch, etc
THE THANG: deck of cards
Spade ♠️ = squats
Heart ❤️ = merkins
Diamond ♦️ = dips
Club = step ups
Jack = 10 burpees
Queen = 25 LBCs
King 👑 = bear crawl around circle
Ace = player choice
Joker = Slapshot Says!!!!!
MARY: no we ran out of time
ANNOUNCEMENTS: HIM camp
COT: Fishsticks won poker with 3 of a kind (thanks to pulling two joker wild cards)

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