10 Lanes of Pain

It’s been a rough week for YHC. Each day leading up to this Q has been met by sleeping through the alarm.  So no less than 3 alarms were set to get out of the fart sack this morning.  Only to be woken up by the M telling me to turn off my alarm…

8 gloom warriors appeared in this morning at the Abyss.  There was a small disclaimer on how unprofessional the Q may be, and the fact that all liabilities are waved like so many cell phone screens at a Weird Al concert (I would know, I was there).

A quick mosey to the back parking lot for a very brief warmup.  SSH and some windmills to get the blood moving.  We then moved over to the bus lanes, where most of the workout would focus.  We were about to start The Thang, but with only 8, I wanted to work in the shaolin exercise “Doji”.  (I probably spell it wrong, I never knew how to spell it in the first place).

The Doji is a series of six shaolin exercises meant to work the legs (I can only concretely remember only four).  It’s 30% leg work, 15% foot work, 5% arms, and 50% balance.  We performed only the first of the series.

Doji 1:

  1. Start by standing facing your direction and plant your right foot (by stomping) 90° from your body.
  2. The left leg steps out into a deep forward stance (a lunge, but the back leg is striaght).
  3. Using your left arm (which is in front) using crane (not explained today) overhead scoop behind your body while shifting your body weight to the right leg, straightening the left.
  4.  As your left arm swings down to the ground.  Shift your weight back onto the left
  5. Step forward with the right foot (don’t come up) and use an open palm strike (demonstrated but not explained today)
  6. Shift your weight forward onto the right.
  7. Repeat L and R until you reach the end.  Turn around and go back to beginning

I knew this was very new to everyone, and that it would likely feel awkward.  The PAX followed along very well when I remembered to call movements on time.  YHC was pleased to see everyone participate and keep from letting their bodies rise up.

The Thang!

10 lanes. 10 pains.  Each lane had transportation exercises labeled in chalk (some doubles).  The labels represented a list, not the direction for whomever was in the lane.  PAX lined up (two to a lane) and everyone did the first exercise until they reached the end of the bus parking lane.

When complete, jog to the far end of the lot, turn left and follow the track back to the same spot.  Everyone stayed together and waited patiently for their now humbled Q to catch up after each run. When we completed four exercises we shifted four spots so that we were always standing on something being called.  Here is the list of exercises.

The lanes
1. Dragon Walk
2. Broad Jump
3. Lunge Walk
4. Bear Crawl
5. Crab Walk
6. Dragon Walk
7. Broad Jump
8. Lunge Walk
9. Crawl Bear
10. Burpee Broad Jump

In all the PAX were able to accomplish the first 10 lanes and another 7 before it was time to mosey back to COT.  YHC was in last place during most of the runs and needed a couple ten counts to drop my HR.  I’m still proud of my performance compared to last year.

Mosey back to COT for 70seconds of Mary.  Most people were showing around 3 miles on their wrist gadgets when it was over.  I’m not going to lie, I thought I was going splash merlot every time I saw that diaper sitting under the middle basketball hoop.  I kept thinking “Have I made remark about how this diaper seems to be in the middle of each lap?  I think I have… or am I too tired to talk and just think I said it?” Well, I certainly forgot my age again at the end of name-o-rama, so it’s entirely possible I said nothing.

YHC is truly honored to get to Q at the Abyss.  There were announcements and prayers at the end.

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