KettleBell Temple Of Doom

The temperature was below freezing, the AO is in the recon stage, but 8 brave souls came out of their fart sacks at an un-Godly hour to go to Church.  Special thanks to New River Church for allowing us to workout at their parking lot. 

After a disclaimer in which I repeated several times during the workout to modify if necessary since we would be working with weights, we moseyed around the parking lot with our kettlebells and did some toy soldiers which are much more difficult with the kettlebell in hand as the grumbling already began.  We then circled up…



Hot Potatoes x10

Halo’s x5 each direction

Kettlebell Windmill’s x 5 each arm

5 Turkish Get-ups x5 each arm

The Thang

In my second ever Q I whipped out the Burpee Temple Of Doom, so in my first KettleBell Q I figured I would do a repeat concept but with KettleBells.  I placed 10 cones in the shape of a pyramid with exercises pasted on each cone.  Each level had progressively more difficult exercises with the pinnacle being the most difficult. 

Level 1

Cone 1- 1 Kettle-burpee/10x right hand merkins with the left hand on the kettlebell

Cone 2- 2 Kettle-burpee/10x left hand merkins with the right hand on kettlebell

Cone 3- 3 Kettle-burpee/10x right hand Kettle-thrusters(squat turning into over head press)

Cone 4- 4 Kettle-burpee/10x left hand Kettle-thrusters

Level 2

Cone 5- 5 Kettle-burpee/20x right hand kettle-swings

Cone 6– 6 Kettle-burpee/20x left hand kettle-swings

Cone 7- 7 Kettle-burpee/20x press jacks(SSH but instead of swinging arms you press the kettlebell over your head)

Level 3

Cone 8- 8 Kettle-burpee/30x right hand Kettle Snatch

Cone 9- 9 Kettle-burpee/30x left hand Kettle Snatch

Pinnacle- 10 Kettle-burpee/20x Clean and Press Right and Left Hand

We then did Lieutenant Dan’s over from the parking lot to the Church wall where we sat down to rest by doing People’s Chair while holding our KettleBells.  The outer 2 Pax(going into the middle) did…

Monkey Humpers x10

Sky Humpers(Back Bridge while pressing the Kettlebell) x10

Figure 8’s(Passing the Kettlebell between your legs in a figure 8 pattern) x10

2 minutes of Mary

10x Kettle Big Boy sit ups

12x Box cutters holding Kettlebell over head(Nemo)

20x Flutter Kicks holding Kettlebell over head(Two-Ferns)


Travel Prayers for Royale and prayers for HomeBrew’s Father-In-Law whose Shell Plant is closing down.  Thanks to Two-Ferns for setting up the Church for us.


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Bricks for Kicks at Bermuda Triangle

Today’s warming coincided nicely with the early start, as usual, at the Bermuda Triangle this morning.  Six early risers joined YHC for a brick-tacular beat down at Bethel Elementary.  This is how it went down:


We began with an easy mosey around the “track” (aka a dirt trail) guided by the Q’s headlamp.  As we rounded turn three, Homebrew noted that is has been christened “Copyright Corner” commemorating the namesake’s recent faceplant at that very spot (hence YHC’s headlamp).  Following the mosey, we executed the following:

  • 10 Windmills
  • 20 SSH
  • 15 Imperial Walkers IC
  • 15 Hillbilly Walkers
  • 10 Merkins IC
  • Downward D Oh Double G
  • Honeymooner

The Thang Part I

11s – Derkins and Squats with a Nur around a traffic circle.  (Quads were nice and warm after that)

The Thang Part Deux

Dora with a paver brick in each hand, 100 meter mosey when not exercising; 100 reps each:

  • Two arm curls
  • Lunges – single count
  • Shoulder presses
  • LBCs
  • Squats
  • Flock of Seagulls
  • Flutter  Kicks

The Thang Part III – we had 10 minutes left, here is how we burned it:

  • 50 triceps hammers with paver bricks – OYO
  • 50 forward shoulder raises with bricks – OYO
  • 50 check flys, lying on the ground, with bricks – OYO
  • 50 chest presses, lying on the ground, with bricks – OYO
  • 15 Freddie Mercuries IC
  • 15 Crunchy Frogs IC
  • 15 American Hammers with bricks, IC


Announcements: Christmas party.  Praise for family on Thanksgiving; Prayers for healing, peace, acceptance and protection.  As always we are grateful for our health, lives and for F3.  Aye!

Wolverine out.

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Big 50 Birthday bash

Today was my 50th Birthday and Maximus allowed me to lead a Beyond so that I could take some extra time to discuss somethings that I have been pondering as I approached this milestone birthday.  To go along with our monthly theme of Vulnerable I took the opportunity to share some struggles as well.  With that we moseyed.

Warm up of SSH, Imperial walkers, Squats, Mountain Climbers, Merkins, and Plank Jacks

Moseyed to Rite Aid parking lot(some chatter about too much running, but I ignored it).

Sharing time #1 – Shared with the Pax that I feel like 30 year old me would have thought that 50 year old me would be “further along”.  Further along Professionally and Financially, Further along Spiritually and in Family.  In 2001 I was recruited to Charlotte for a position with a new company, for a salary that I thought would be my ticket ahead.  I had great plans that I could do this for a bunch of years, make a bunch of money and then I could check out and go do something that I wanted to do , maybe full time ministry or teaching.  Within 1 year it all blew up, I was demoted for not doing a good job, salary was slashed plans were gone.  17 years later we’re still feeling the affects.

First circuit – Partner up – Partner 1 does People’s Chair Partner 2 does a lap, then flip it.  Next Partner 1 does Plank, Partner 2 does a lap, flip it.  Next Partners do 100 Merkins as a team, 1 runs I does Merkins, flip it.

Sharing time 2 – Felt like I would be further along spiritually.  30 year old me would have thought I would have gotten past my need for man’s approval.  I would have thought that the sins that tripped me up back then would be conquered and pride & lust would no longer be an issue foe me, but they are still there.  Felt like I would be further along in family & parenting. My plan was to be an empty nester at this point, but here I am with a 7th and 9th grader still at home, and t top it off I’m not particularly better at parenting then I was when I 30.

Circuit #2 Partner again – Lap #1 Partner 1 does Al Gore Partner #2 does a lap.  Lap #2  Partner 1 does Flutters Partner 2 does a lap.  Lap #2 Team does 100 Big Boy Sit ups total while 1 partner runs.

Sharing time 3 – The truth is that when I look at my life with clear eyes I can see that my life has been Blessed beyond measure!  I have a job that I mostly enjoy, and work with great people(shout out to Royale) and I am well compensated.  I have a beautiful wife of 26 years and we have a great marriage that keeps getting better.  I have 5 awesome kids who are healthy and bring me great joy, and sometimes frustration.  To add to it I have found this thing called F3 and a group of friends and Brothers that I never even knew I needed!  To see my 50 year old life s anything but blessed is ridiculous.

Off to COT for 2 minutes of Mary

Final share – What I have found is that the only times that I get down about where I am at 50 is when I look around me at others and I compare myself to what  my perception of them is.  This can lead to pride but for me it mostly leads to despair.  What I am trying to learn is contentment as Paul describes it in Phil. 4, whether he had much or little Paul was content.  The source of this contentment is found in Phil. 3 where Paul shares that all of his achievements, any possession he may have or any legacy he may be able to boast about , all of is it is worthless, or as he calls is a big pile of manure, compared to knowing Christ.  Paul says he has 1 aim, and that is to Know Christ!!  The secret Paul learned is that all he need was Jesus and if he had Jesus he had all he needed, and if he had Jesus, he could never lose him so therefore he could always be content.  In whatever amount of years I have left let this be my aim; that I may know Christ!!

Thank you for the opportunity to lead.

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Working Hard @ Crow’s Nest

Of course this is way late and will be abridged but it is my duty to put together a backblast and I’m not going to slouch.  #LeadByExample

We started off with a disclaimer (had an FNG) and some light stretching… don’t want anyone to get hurt out there!

Took a nice mosey around the left side of the building (facing the front) and circled up for some Warm O Rama.  SSH, Windmills, Imperial Walkers were completed in quick succession.  It started to get cold again, so we went to work.

Partner up… partner A runs front start point around the loop and back while partner B completes an exercise until they return.  No keeping up with numbers, we just kept going until they came back and switched up the exercise each time.  1st- SSH   2nd- Squats  3rd- CDDs

Mosey back around the front to the opposite side of the building. Circle up and completed the following together.

Seal Jacks, 5 burpees, Merkins, 5 burpees, Freddy Mercury’s, 5 burpees

Mosey back to the back parking lot and back around to the Green Monster.

Partner exercise again.  A runs down the hill and back while B completes an exercise with weight (we had 50lb sandbags and 15-20lb kettlebells/dumbbells).  Exercises were: 2 rounds of overhead press, 2 rounds of curls, 2 rounds of tricep extensions, and 1 round of bent over row.

Mosey back around the front parking lot for a quick 3 rounds of Mary.

Numbered off, Name O Rama, and naming of a new FNG!  Welcome to Cousin Eddie!  T-Claps to Two Ferns for bringing him out!


Thanks for the opp. to lead Flux!  I look forward to the next time!

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All Legs at The Deep

YHC arrived a little early for the workout since I haven’t been out to the Deep in a while. Been doing a little running this year so did a little pre-run myself while Q-Bert and Olaf did some rucking with some heavy tire pieces. Looked nasty and heavy.

It was a cool morning and gave us a break from the week of rain so it was a perfect day for a workout. The Pax rolled in a little before 0700. No FNG’s were present but a brief disclaimer was given and off we went.


Mosey around to the back of the school with butt kickers, knees to chest, side shuffle, etc…

In Cadence

15 – SSH
15 – IW
15 – WM
15 – Low Slow Squat
25 – Moroccan Night Clubs

Mosey to circle

Brief Discussion on Vulnerability. YHC used the analogy of a baseball game where the outfielder calls “I got it” when a fly ball is hit. Being vulnerable is admitting to God and to your brothers that you “Don’t Got It”. When we admit that we need help with whatever we “Don’t Got”, growth can happen. The challenge was to think of the thing or things that we need where we need to ask for help.

The Thang

150 Lunges (Single Count)
250 Squats
350 LBC’s

Run a lap around in the inside circle after every 50 count of exercises.

Finish early – Find someone to help finish

Lt. Dan’s to the speed bump, run back
Bear Crawl to the speed bump, run back

Run to the speed bump and do burpees on the odd numbers back to the arrow for donkey kicks on the evens to 10.

Walls Sits- Each person count to 10 while holding the wall with one leg out
Shake it out
Switch legs for another 10 count

Total running mileage – 3.26

Mosey back for COT


Lutefisk – Loss of his mother
Soprano – Loss of his brother
Olaf’s grandfather
Peg-Internal Interview

Coffeeteria at DD

Great job by the Pax and always great to see the 2.0’s out there. Mine were lazy Saturday.

Always an honor to lead. Thanks Shakespeare for the opportunity. Cobains to Wolverine for trying to age you a couple of years!

Until next time,


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Smackdown at the Crows Nest “Clover Middle School Wrestling Style”

I had originally had a Weinke prepared for the workout but changed it up after spending some time at my son’s (F3 – Hound) Middle School Wrestling practices.  Today’s temps were in the 40’s so the brave ones wore shorts (Me and Homebrew).  7 showed up total, no FNG’s.  After a short F3 disclaimer we headed around back to the rear parking area to begin the Smackdown.

Warmup included some Moroccan Night Clubs, SSH’s, Cotton Pickers and some Peter Parkers with some plank stretching.

Smackdown Part 1:  Started with the punishment dealt to the wrestlers if they loos a match by points which gives the other team 3 team points.


So we did this 3 times

15 SSH’s

15 Para Troopers (Hands on head and basically Lunge Hops)

15 Mt. Climbers (counting right leg each time)

(we will revisit this later for more punishment)


Smackdown Part 2:  Up hill cones (4 cones)

Cone 1 was 1 Burpee, 2 SSH’s and 3 Merkins

Cone 2 was uphill a little ways and Pax had to run to it and do 2 Burpees, 4 SSH’s and 6 Merkins

Cone 3 was further uphill and Pax had to run to it and do 3 Burpees, 6 SSH’s and 9 Merkins

Cone 4 was the last cone at the top of the hill and the Pax had to run to it and do 4 Burpees, 8 SSH’s and 12 Merkins.  threw in a couple 10 counts.


We then talked briefly about being Thankfull (since we are close to Thanksgiving) and the Pax had a theme of Family with one Glorifying Jesus (Royale).


It was time to revisit Part 1:  When a wrestler looses by Pin they have to add 15 Burpees.  So we did…….

15 SSH’s

15 Para Troopers (Hnads on head and basically Lunge Hops)

15 Mt. Climbers (counting right leg each time)

15 Burpees

And then this is when the whining began………


We then took a trip and found some wall so the Pax could catch their a breathe.  We had a seat in the People Chair and did some runs outs with Monkey Humpers (Homebrew did a really good 1 handed Hump show) followed by some Derkins and Merkins.


We took a brief moment to talk some Tuesday morning Kettlebell chatter.  One name was already thrown out there from Homebrew “Canon Ball”.  Some liked and some said we can do better……..


Last part of the Smackdown and here is where the real whining began.  Basically we did some Duck Duck Goose Nascar Style and added some Burpees.  Pretty basic, not sure why the whining took place lol.  This may become a Two Ferns Staple.


We headed back top the COT where Wolverine clarified his correct age.

Announcements……Thanks Giving Convergence, Multiple Christmas Parties.

Praises and Prayers…..Olaf (Respectable) praising his son and daughter for showing great love and kindness to spend time with their ailing grandma.  Princess Penny and her health and FAMILY during the Holiday Season.


I closed with a prayer and as usual my voice cracks because I feel that a higher power really grabs me and humbles me when I pray.


Thanks Flux for the Q and the others for the SUPPORT.



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Eight Face the Balls of Doom at Crow’s Nest

YHC was less than enthusiastic about the chilly drizzle that greeted me on on my front porch in the gloom; hesitation gave way to excitement when I hit the driveway in anticipation of a hard workout and a strong showing from the Pax.  Here’s how it went down:


Started with a slow mosey from the front of the school to the back, about 400 yards, with a decent cold drizzle smacking the faces of the men we ran and wondered if it would keep up, stop or get worse.  Most of us thought for a moment once again that the fartsack is where we’d rather be, but we shook it off as we circled up for the warmup:

  • 15 Windmills IC (at this point Nemo joined having arrived two minutes late, Pax gave him the requisite crap; he accepted it gracefully)
  • 20 SSH, IC
  • 15 Cherry Pickers, IC
  • 15 Imperial Walkers, IC
  • 15 LSS, IC

My mind having gone blank, YHC decide we were warm enough and we moseyed 400 more yards to the back of the school to begin Part 1 of the Thang:

The Thang, Part 1:

  • 5 rounds: 5 pull ups on the playground, 10 yard mosey to the side walk for 10 Merkins
  • Mosey back to the area where we warmed up for The Thang, Part 2

The Thang, Part 2: Balls of Doom:

YHC has two grab bags, one with 10 ping pong balls, upon which are written numbers from 5 to 25, plus the letter “Q” (puller gets to choose the number of reps); The second bag contains 15 plastic golf balls with excercises on them.  Pax took turns pulling one of each and this is about what we got:

  • Burpees – 25 (Flux of course!)
  • Big boy sit-ups – 10
  • Bomb jacks  – 10
  • Merkins – 20
  • Dips – 10 IC
  • CDD – 15
  • Derkins – 20
  • Crunch frog  – 20 IC
  • SSH – 25 IC
  • Triangle merkins – 20
  • Bomb jacks – 20
  • Run a lap (about 200M)
  • Lt. Dans – 25! (Flux again!)

Frankly there were a few more in there…that’s what happens with the Balls of Doom, fate decides!  Moseyed back to COT where we mentioned the F3 Christmas party, thanked the Lord for everything, lifted our brothers and loved ones in prayers for mercy and healing.  As always, I am grateful for F3 and the for the opportunity to lead.


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VQ At the Abyss

The Abyss has been around, what, 2 years or so?  YHC has never made it down there, and that’s a shame.  Not only is it a great, well-lit AO, but the pax there represent Lake Wylie very well! Sure wish Siri hadn’t been lying to me all this time on how long it takes to get there.  At 4:45am, it seems every AO in TheFort can be reached in 15 minutes or less.

This cool halloween morning, the count was 14 pax.  The mumblechatter level made it feel more like 25. Excellent! YHC knew most of the pax there, but the hats and my historically bad memory for names threw me off (cobains Wolverine for calling you “Moreen”).

Disclaimer was issued as Flux was coming in hot.  We moseyed the opposite direction from where he parked, but made a loop for him to catch up.  Stopped in the same front lot for some warm-up:

  • SSH (IC) x25
  • Imperial Walker (IC) x20
  • Mountain Climbers (IC) x20
  • Flutters (IC) x20
  • Windmills (IC) x20

Moseyed around to the back lot to find 4 cones set up, one in front of each basketball goal (along long side of track).  Time for some Webb-o-Rama.  The exercises at each cone were to be done in a Jack Webb style, (1:4 ratio).

Cone 1: Burpees and Side Straddle Hops, then Bear Crawl to cone 2

Cone 2: Big Boy Sit-ups and American Hammers, then wheelbarrow to cone 3

Cone 3: Knee Tar N’Diayes and Run-Stance Switches, then wheelbarrow to cone 4

Cone 4: Traditional Jack Webb (merkins and overhead claps), then run around track back to cone 1

We did a total of 3 loops of the circuit.

Round 1: 1-5

Round 2: 6-8

Round 3: 10 (didn’t have time for 9)

Moseyed back to COT.


I took just a few minutes after round 1 to share how my kids are at an age that I’m really proud of them.  But as a father, it is very important we don’t give them the impression that our love and pride for them is based on winning or achieving a certain status.  It should be based on them showing a good work ethic, passion, and self-motivation to try and use the gifts God has given them.  And shifting the perspective a little, I am incredibly grateful that God’s love for me is not based on how much I “win” or am “successful”.  Thank God for His GRACE that keeps me from having to accomplish things in order to earn His love.


Excellent effort by LW’s finest this morning.  Thanks for making me feel so welcome.  And thanks to Bones for the opportunity to lead.

Keep it spicy.
-old bay

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My “Deep” Q

With Friday’s rain finally behind us, 5 PAX got together at the Deep on a soggy, cool, Saturday morning.  I gave practically no disclaimer, since we’re all regulars, and decided to take a mosey  around the parking lot, which resembled a track, since some of the PAX were wondering if I was going to do a FAST FIVE inspired workout.  I wasn’t planning on it, but thought it might come in handy to check the distance.  Along the way, we did some shuffle steps and toy soldiers before returning to our start point which came out to be a hair over a 1/4 mile.

We circled up for a fast warmup that included:

  • Windmills x10
  • Cherry Pickers x10
  • Imperial Walkers x20
  • Low Slow Squats x 10

The first routine consisted of some Tabata’s set to some music.  It was a fun way to warm up and get the PAX chatty.  We did 4 cycles that each consisted of 4 sets, each cycle was the same.  Every interval (16 in all) was 40 seconds of activity and 20 seconds of rest.

  • 35 Squats (40 seconds)
    • 20 seconds of rest
  • 35 Merkins (40 Seconds)
    • 20 seconds of rest
  • 30 Groiners (40 seconds)
    • 20 seconds of rest
  • 45 SSH (40 seconds)
    • 20 seconds of rest

We repeated this 3 more times with the whole routine running about 16 minutes, deconstructed burpee tabatas, good times!

The next routine was to head to my truck to grab a cinderblock and mosey over to the hill…

The fun part of the exercise was everyone rolling their blocks down the hill (it was really steep) and seeing who could roll it the… shortest…

The awful part of the exercise was to carefully mosey (it was still wet and slippery) down the hill and then bear & block up the hill.  You start with the cindy between your feet and pull it up past your head, then bear crawl until the block is at your feet again, repeat until we get to the top of the hill.

We did this 6 times, and had a different exercise to do with the block each time we made it to the top.

  • 30 American Hammers
  • 40 Bench Press
  • 30 Overhead Press
  • 30 Curls
  • 30 Triceps Extension
  • 30 American Hammers (Because they loved it)

We moseyed back to the parking lot (track), put the cindys away, and lined up for the final routine, which was ad-hoc since the PAX wanted something like the FAST FIVE, be careful what you wish for…

We partnered up and did a 1/4 mile chase around the track.  PAX A does 5 Burpees and sprints “AYG”  to catch his partner who is running backwards, tags his partner and then switches/repeats until we run the full loop.

With about 10 minutes to spare our 2nd loop was one none of us will soon forget (and I’m still feeling the effects of on Monday).  Same theme, but this time PAX A does 40 Plank Jacks while his partner is Bear Crawling around the track, then sprints “AYG” to catch his partner, switch & repeat until we go the full 1/4 around the track.  This was the most bear crawling I’ve every done in one routine and we were all on fire at the end.  It was magnificently brutal.

We somehow all managed to finish right on time and thankfully circled up for CoT.

Announcements, Praises, Prayers

  • Christmas dinner, Dec. 1st
  • F3 Custom Go Ruck HTL May 4th
  • Prayers for SAT’s and teenagers
  • Prayers for Tracy, Two Ferns wife, who has been battling some stomach issues

We all joined up for another 30-45 minutes of brotherhood at Dunkin’ for coffeeteria.

Thanks for the Q Shakes, until next time…



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Forties for 40

Well today was the day… turning 40…why not take the Q today?  I asked Bones for it months ago.  There’s nothing better than leading a group of men and friends at an F3 workout, especially on a birthday.  I was really happy to see 17 other men here, including a few faces that don’t usually travel to the Abyss.

We started up with a mosey around the parking lot.  Nemo and Flux were pulling in right at 5:15 so we did a lap and let them catch up.  Standard dynamic warmup stuff on the lap.

It was cold so the warmup had some more cardio items than usual.

-SSHs – Ab Vagota – Seal Jacks – Squats – IWs – Mountain Climbers

We ended with the Merkin Circle

6 rounds around the circle.  1 merkin each for the 18 guys while in plank.

We moved over to the Hill.  I found an exercise in the lexicon called “Forties”.  I figured if we added the hill we could call it the “Over the Hill Forties”.  That got some laughs, and some groans…

It’s a ladder with higher reps.  An Exercise at the Top of the Hill, one at the bottom.  Take 30 reps at the top 10 at the bottom, then subtract 5 and add 5 until you’ve flipped to 10-30.

1st round : Top = CDDs Bottom = Flutters

2nd Round : Top = American Hammers Bottom = Calf Raises

We took a break and I shared a little message about reflections.  How these men and F3 have helped change me to be a better person and on a better path in life.  I reflected on who I might have been at 40 with out these men… it wasn’t so pretty.

We moseyed next to the front of the school.  I split the group into 2 teams.

Team 1 would stay for wall sits while Team 2 bear crawled around the circle

Flipped it

Next round BTTW as long as you can, then wall sits while Team 2 Crab Walked the circle

Finally we head back to COT for a very special circle.  For my birthday we we’re going to play a game.  The group had to answer questions about me.  If correct 10 SSHs.  If wrong… 10 burpees!

The Questions were:

  1. How many siblings do I have? right
  2. What is my favorite professional sports team? right
  3. What High School did I attend?  Bonus, what was the mascot? right with bonus!
  4. What was my favorite children’s toy in 1985? wrong
  5. Where do I work? right
  6. Where did I go to college? right

To my surprise these men got 5 of 6 right…and to Iced-T’s credit he was saying He-Man for #4…but the group out voted him!


Thanksgiving Convergence

Christmas Party

Fast 5 postponed


For Soprano and the passing of his brother

Hurricane victims still in need

Grateful for all the people in our lives

If you’ve read this far the answers were

  1. 1 sister = Rachel
  2. Green Bay Packers
  3. South Meck = Sabres
  4. He-Man
  5. Merrill Lynch
  6. UNCC

An Honor to Lead!


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