Pulled up to The Fort this morning (WEP) and noticed a 5k was being setup.  Panicked for about 5 seconds then realized I would make whatever was on the Weinke work.  Luckily, the PAX knows where to park on race day as it is officially race season at WEP.  About one race every 3 weeks.  That being said, 11 of The Fort’s Finest, plus Photographer Solid State (pics for Newsletter), showed up to be sharpened by YHC.  Disclaimer noted, and off we go.

The Thang:

Mosey from WEP over to the bottom parking lot of the springs building by the F3 statue.

IW x 12, SSH x 12 (Maxiums notices theme, stops smiling, and stops all mumblechatter) Windmills x 12

First round of Dirty McDuece involves 4 rounds of 3 exercises all done to 12 IC, after each round of 3 exercises the PAX will run to the top of the hill and back down then hold plank until the 6 is in.

Merkins, Peter-Parker-Peter, Squat, Run. CDD, Mountain Climbers, Sumo Squat, Run.  Moroccan Night Club, Dying cockroach, Narrow Squat, Run. Wide-arm Merkins, Rosalita, People’s Chair, Run.

Left the lower Springs Parking lot and Mosey back to WEP to the light up sign. Plank till the Six is in.  Bear crawl to the playground for explanation on Dirty Mcduece #2.  The OYO version.  4 more rounds of 3 exercises all done to 12 OYO then run to the far hill, bear crawl up then run back to the playground. After each round is complete LBC’s until the 6 is in.  The 4 rounds:

Pullups, LBC’s, Bombjacks, run.  Dips, Plankjacks, Burpees, Run.  Hand release merkins, Gravediggers Right, right,left both jump squats, run.  Diamond Derkins, Gravedigger left, Monkey Humpers, Run.

Mosey over to the drillbits for McDuece #3.  at the next 4 drillbits do 12 merkins, 12 squats, 12 flutter kicks.  Run to next drillbit, rinse and repeat until you have done all 4. Ending at the bottom of the stairway to heaven.

Stairway to heaven up 6 lightpoles. 1 burpee, then 2 burpees all the way to 6.  After 6 run to playground and do 12 pullups.  Rinse and repeat.

Finish with 2 minutes of Mary – 12 hello dolly, 12 LBC, 12 Freddy Mercury

Jailbreak to the Shovel Flag for COT and BOM.

Announcements – read the weekly email.  lots of useful information.  Bring your CAH stuff in.  Quick check to see who is close to 20 on their workouts.

Prayers – Maximus and F3 Mission trip.  Maximus’s friend whose dad passed away last night. Safe travels for him as he travels.  Prayers for our brothers doing the Palmetto 200.  Hoping for safe and injury free returns.

Moleskin – Always and honor to lead this fine group of men that we have in the Fort.  Was nice to finally lead something other than the Armory or Slowburn.  Hope the PAX that showed up are smoked and can sit around and watch basketball all day.  Very Little mumblechatter other than Red Banjo complaining about not being dressed correctly.  It’s 50 out and he has on long pants and about 8 winter jackets.  YHC works with his wife, maybe she can work on his wardrobe.  While doing stairway to heaven, noticed porta-johns for the 5k being held.  Didn’t notice if any one splashed Merlot in there or not.  Maybe and opportunity for a different kind of Dirty McDuece!!

A couple of weeks ago, when the earth was frozen slush, I posted at my first Black Diamond. Zima was Q and served us quality pain. At COT, with Senator Tressel’s nudging, I reluctantly volunteered to Q to the next one. After delaying for a week due to being sick (thanks Maximus for covering), my day finally arrived today. Game time. The theme was “Get the Led Out.” The idea was inspired by Anchorman’s 80’s theme Q at the Ranch a while back.

After stating, “I am not a pro, go at your own pace, and I assume you read the disclaimer,” we started in prayer – Ball of Man.

“Your Time is Gonna Come”
The warm up. The calm before the storm.
10x Side Straddle Hop
10x Imperial Walker
10x Windmill

“Whole Lotta Love”
5 x Diamond Merkin HOLD IT
5x Merkin HOLD IT
5x Wide Arm Merkin HOLD IT
Right arm high, right leg if you got it (5 sec) HOLD IT
Left arm high, left leg if you got it (5 sec) HOLD IT
6 inches (5 sec) HOLD IT
Regular HOLD IT
10x Mountain Climber HOLD IT
10x Peter Parker HOLD IT
10x Parker Peter RECOVER

“House of the Holy”
In the corner of the parking lot was a stone trellis structure.
10x Wide Arm Derkins
10x Dips
Rinse and Repeat

“Ramble On” down the path to a grassy open field for the next exercise.

“How Many More Times”
Lunge left, Lunge right, 1 Squat, 70 LBCs
Lunge left, Lunge right, 2 Squats, 70 LBCs
Lunge left, Lunge right, 3 Squats, 70 LBCs
Lunge left, Lunge right, 4 Squats, 70 LBCs
Lunge left, Lunge right, 5 Squats, 70 LBCs

“Over the Hills and Far Away”
Jog down a series of hills through neighborhoods and into the woods by the golf course, arriving at the foot of a wooden bridge.

“That Confounded Bridge”
(A phrase from “The Crunge”)
Pair up – size matters.
Plank walk (hands sliding sideways) along bridge handrail with feet suspended on partner’s shoulders. Switch at half way mark or as needed until all the way across the bridge.

“Heartbreaker”
Worst hill in Tega Cay. The goal is simple: Jog to the top. Doing it without stopping is bonus.

3x 10 counts called for at top to catch our breath.

Jog a few minutes down a long hill to the lake front, where some logs were conveniently stacked and waiting for us.

“Four Sticks”
4 exercises with “sticks” (logs).
Carry the log and follow the Q down the hill, down a staircase, then back up the stairs and around the circular path to finish the loop.
10x Log Curls
10x Squat holding log, then Press log overhead
10x Calf raises holding log
Stack logs back where you found them.

Jog back up long hill to top of “Heartbreaker.”
3x 10 counts called for at the top
(yes, I seriously needed them!!!)

“The Crunge”
Crab + Lunge = Crunge
5 minute exercise going all the way down Heartbreaker to the bridge.
Crab walk during the steep declines and lunge walk thru the flatter stretches.

2x 10 counts called for at the bottom
(yeah, I was hurting)
A voice arose from the PAX “I thought 10 counts weren’t allowed at Black Diamonds.”
Oops. Rookie mistake. I was called out!

“Bring It on Home”
Jog back through a series of short but steep hills back to COT.

*At the beginning of this jog I nearly hurled! Serious exhaustion combined with the lingering mucus crud was not a savory combination. A took a short pit stop and wondered if I was about to puke during my VQ. Thank God I was able to keep it together and get back on track. TClaps to Aquaman and Pink Slip for not leaving their Q (who had become the stray 6). With their help I made it back to COT.

Back at COT the righteous PAX warriors were dutifully planking it out until we arrived. With a few minutes still on the we threw in a few final exercises:
10x Squats
10x LBCs
10x Hello Dolly
10x Rosalita

COT
Announcements:
Maximus and Decibel Qing Alcatraz Sat 06:30
Come early for Q school 06:00
New “Swamp” AO (Rivergate) Fridays 05:00 in Best Buy parking Lot, followed by Chicken & Wisdom 2 at Chick Fil-A
Saturdays at Indian Land – OCR Training 06:30. Followed this Sat by Gunny’s Q 07:00
3/28 Gladiator Games in Indian Land 07:00

Prayer and Praise
Maximus- Make the most of your time with those you love. One F3 brother was at hospital where his son is recovering from RSV. He met a man who just lost his 6 mo old son, and was able to pray with him. A friend lost his dad and other friends have parents with rapidly failing health. They’ve already brought their kids in to say goodbye to their grandparents.
Gecko- wife’s 22 yr old nephew found deceased after being missing. Family is devastated.
Jekyll- lots of PAX gone missing for the winter. Encourage them that it’s getting warmer and to come back out.

AYE.

16 men posted at WEP on a Frosty day to get the weekend officially launched.  Thanks to the Farm for posting with us from North Charlotte unfortunately for him his PAX that were supposed to meet him Fartsacked!  A good workout isn’t complete without the 5.0s showing up to share the latest complaint by some grump neighbors.  HINT – When the 5.0s show up always invite them to join in the fun.

The Message:  Becoming a High Impact Man (#HIM) can be as simple as sharing your testimony in public and you would be amazed how other men are having similar trials.  You will put the trial in perspectives for that man which will help him know that he is not alone.

Mosey to some random grassy area in town.

Warm up

• SSH
• WM
• IW
• Merkins
• Mac-tar Jie
• CCD
• Low slow squat

Mosey to playground/hill near Little Caesar’s

• Four corners – round 1 = 10x each – Two rounds

• Corner 1 – CCDs
• Corner 2 – Mountain Climbers
• Corner 3 – Merkins
• Corner 4 – Plank Jacks
• Wall Work:

• Decline Peter Parkers
• Right Knee up (OYO)
• Decline Parker Peters
• Left Knee ups (OYO)
• Dips

Four corners – round 2 = 15x each

• Corner 1 – Bomb jacks
• Corner 2 – Jump lunges (L & R = 1)
• Corner 3 – Squat jacks
• Corner 4 – IW Squats
• Wall Work:

• Decline Peter Parkers
• Knee ups (OYO)
• Dips

Hand it over to Chicken Hawk

Mosey to the hill on Massey street for Jacob’s ladder.  Rotate through 7 to 1 at the top and 1 to 7 at the bottom

• Run up the hill backwards
• 7 Air double unders
• Run down to bottom of the hill forward
• 1 Sumo Squat

Mosey to grassy hill for some Sharks and Minnows (or Cops and Robbers if you like).  Three rounds of S&M and the fun was over.

Mosey to Wall and partner up.  As a pair complete the following.

• 30 Wall pull ups
• 30 Mule Kicks
• 4 Laps around the parking lot

Mosey to WEP for two minutes of Mary.

COT

This morning at 0505, our own MinuteMan (MM) was scheduled for his coming out party. His VQ was to be a Black Diamond at Trailhead Park in Tega Cay and man, did he have a good AO picked out. Unfortunately, due to some recent sickness, MM needed a sub. I was honored to answer the call. With some help from MM and Zima, we had a good hill, some coupons and a few ideas, that’s all I needed.

48hrs prior to tip off, the smack talk began. Senator Tressel had the Q at the Ranch so naturally, it became a mumble chatter competition filled with the underlying tone that it didn’t really matter where you’d post, pain will be present. It went a little something like this:

Gather at the Trailhead parking lot for a very brief description and disclaimer. I guess it was the steamy 60 degrees that short-circuited my memory but I began the mosey right to the hill and forgot about my warmup plan.

Impromptu warmup in sexy tones at the top of the hill: SSH, Windmill, Squats
Split into 2 groups:
Group 1 Jog down and run up the big hill
Group 2 Burpees while you wait
Flapjack and REPEAT
Short Mosey to the short hill and split into 2 groups
Group 1 Bear crawl up the hill and jog down
Group 2 3-Way Lunges while you wait
Flapjack and REPEAT

Mosey to the Playground
Monkey Bar Walkers with 5 pull-ups at the end, 20 Dips, 10 Jump Ups
REPEAT

Mosey to TCES
Indian Bear Crawl Station: With the PAX in a single file line doing Mountain Climbers, the 6 gives 5 Merkins then Bear Crawls to the front of the line and continues his Mountain Climbers. PAX cycles through once.

Let the fun begin
Welcome to the CINDER NINJAS!! Great to meet you.
Truckers favorite Mak Tar Ninja’s but now with holding cinder blocks overhead = Cinder Ninjas x 12
Curls x 20
Squats into shoulder press x 12
Curls x 20

The “I HATE YOU STATION”
2 blocks in a line with 6 total lines spaced about 18″ apart. While waiting for your turn, PAX does an exercise, just pick something but don’t stand still.
First man up:
Left Hand & Left Foot on the first line of blocks and right appendages on the big ball for 5 merkins. Then put all 4 appendages on the block for 5 merkins. Then right side appendages on the block with the left side appendages on the big ball for 5 merkins. Goal = go through all 6 lines of blocks. Half way through I audibled to 3 merkins ’cause 5 is just nonsense and I’d end up with a broken nose. My count gave me 72 merkins with a mix of staggered and close-grip. In the words of Jeckyl…WOOF! Once you finished your merkins, you participated in the Ab Lab while you wait.

Mosey to the wall for 25′ of walking Ballz to the Wall (Thanks to A51’s Runstopper for that gem)
Line up on the wall for Monkey Humpers x 10, Donkey kicks x 10 and on the 10th, take it up to B2W for a ridiculous 10ct.

Close it out with 1min of LBCs and 30sec slow Freddie’s.

THAT’S IT.

Announcements: Continue bringing supplies for CAH. Mudrun signups. Reminder of the new Swamp workout Friday’s at Rivergate Shopping Center (Best Buy) with Chicken n’ Wizdom to follow at the Rivergate Chick Fil A.

Prayer Requests: Flat Tire’s M, Zima’s Grandmother n’ Law’s sister, Noah Fike and his therapy and eating progress, Spiderman’s nephews and their recovery, Minuteman’s recovery to be back with us.

MINUTE-MAN HAS THE NEXT BLACK DIAMOND Q!!

Aye.

20 Pax braved post wintergeddon conditions for a standard one hour Saturday Smack Down.  Imports from NC AO’s (came for cheap gas and a local headlock) also helped round out the PAX.

Moleskin:  We confuse real fear, the natural, hardwired elements of response fight or flight (you run from a bear because you “know to”.  Its part of your human element)  We confuse natural FEAR with F.E.A.R. which is the paralyzing fear that is crippling, keeps us from greatness, and becoming the man we are intended to be.  We accept false evidence as fact and reality, when in reality, it is nothing more than manufactured emotions, incomplete data, false evidence, yet we act as if it is a bear in the woods.  We also showed our NC friends our “I AM THIRD” statue.

The Thang:

Warmup COP – SSH, Merkins, Imperial walkers, mountain climbers, windmills, Carolina dry docks, Moraccan Night clubs.  Mosey to Camel Back for runs up hill with 1 – 5 burpees, and 1 -5 donkey kicks alternating at crests of hill.  A crowd pleaser.

Run to top of hill, bear crawl 50, lunge 50 yards, Squats, mosey to wall.  Wall sits with Baby press dips off the wall – sets of 15.  Mosey to parking lot to flush out the shoulder talker from the building.  Never showed.  50 SSH.  Mosey to wall for squat, lunge, dip, derkin sequence x 15 sets of 3 each. 10 bomb jacks, Mosey to I am Third statue and hill of pain.  Ascend hill 3 times.  Mosey to park, Flutters, LBC, and Freddy Mercury.  Mosey to Seal team situps – 25.