Fish Tales with Birdcage

We had 9 at varsity (2 for IronPAX, 1 proctor, and 6 for a Cindy beatdown. Here’s what we did:

Warmup
– 10 Low Slow Swuats
– 10 Mountain Climbers
– 10 Windmills
Mosey to get a cinderblock

– 10 Manmakers
– 15 Curls
– 20 OH Press
– 25 Flutters with a Press
– 30 Cindy Swings
– 20 Squats
– 15 Skull Crushers
– 10 Sit-up to Press
– Jog to AO Jones

Repeat 2 more times

NMM
Below is an AI generated backblast about yesterday’s workout. Some of it is true.

The sun had yet risen where the flags would be, and the usual quiet was shattered by the sound of furious guitar riffs echoing across the lot. Rumbling Bald himself had decided that today was the day he would reinvent himself as a heavy metal solo act. His amps were cranked to eleven, his hair (which may or may not have been real) was blowing in the breeze, and every bird within a mile radius had fled in terror.

In a parking spot nearby, Birdcage was already five tall tales deep. “And that’s when Dark Helmet single-handedly wrestled a grizzly bear with a lightsaber and taught it calculus!” he boomed, waving his arms dramatically. Nobody was buying it, but everyone kept listening because Birdcage’s delivery was too good to ignore.

Time Machine, meanwhile, sat cross-legged on the asphalt, looking like he had aged a century overnight. “What am I doing with my life?” he muttered, staring off into the middle distance. “I mean, posting at Varsity? Was that really my legacy? Out of all possible timelines, why did I land there?” He sighed so deeply that Rumbling Bald’s double-bass pedal briefly went out of rhythm.

Finally, Spiderman dropped in from a nearby tree branch, landing with a thud. “Hey, uh, what’s all this?” he asked, eyeing the stack of cinderblocks Italian Job had been planning to incorporate into Bald’s stage show.

“Those,” Rumbling Bald growled, “are for dramatic effect. I need someone to swing them into the pit when the breakdown hits.”

Spiderman looked at the rocks, then back at Rumbling Bald, then immediately raised both hands. “Nope. Nope nope nope. Swinging heavy things is not in the contract.” With a single web-thwip, he was gone before anyone could argue.

Birdcage stood, puffed out his chest, and pointed dramatically toward the horizon. “Did I ever tell you about the time Dark Helmet built an entire stadium out of marshmallows just to host the galaxy’s first interstellar dodgeball championship?”

Time Machine groaned, Rumbling Bald shredded harder, and somewhere in the distance Spiderman was still muttering: “Nope. Not my job.”

And thus, the morning at NaFo ended the way all their gatherings did—half concert, half existential crisis, and entirely ridiculous.

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Birdcage Lifts off

WARMUP: SSH for 50
Windmills, Merkins, cherry pickers, low slow squats,
THE THANG: 30 Burpees, mosey to corner
Bear crawls and Merkins alternating for 40 yards
Lunge 30 yards,
Run to the hill
5 rounds of 10 squats, 5 CDDs,
Down the hill – 10 Navy seal burpees,
3x Run the hill, 10 BBS
Jack webb of burpees and SSH from 1 to 6
MARY: Flutters, Freddie Mercury, Hello Dolly
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:

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10 for 9 rounds and three stoic lessons

WARMUP: quick jog to the fire hydrant and back to the bells for warm up – all exercises I/C
Windmills
Cherry Pickers
Imperial walkers
Hillbilly walkers
Moroccan night clubs
Low slow squats
Hold people’s chair w/ MNC’s

Bells to the corner of the lot for Main event

THE THANG: 9 rounds
3 exercises per round with a run across the lot and back after each round.

Station 1 – 5-10-15 (4 rounds)
5 – manmakers
10 – goblet squats
15 – swings

Station 2 – 10-15-20 (3 rounds)
10 – merkins on the bell
15 – swings
20 – hammer curls

Station 3 – 15-20-25 (2 rounds)
15 – tricep extensions
20 – flutters w/press
25 – swings

Three stoic lessons were shared from Seneca and Marcus Aurelius – one at each station.

MARY: enough time for protractors with the bell held high as well as rosalitas – took us to 0600

ANNOUNCEMENTS: you bet – all of them

COT: 5th core principle

Thanks 63 Bravo for the call. :eye:

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Whats the point of this

Sometimes I wonder if a ‘backblast’ is important. Yes, I can here the admins now screaming their doctoral rhetoric at their phone screens. ‘Its for new guys to get ideas’, ‘Its to share with people that weren’t there’, ‘Its to get our name plugged into the all powerful algorithm and track our stats.’

I kinda think its BS. When F3 started we didn’t have any of this crap. Not to say change is bad (or good), but to say are we missing the point. F3 isn’t about any of the things we are told to use a backblast for. That’s one of the things I always loved about Indian Land, the fact you wont find any record of it anywhere. But we, and you know who we are, what we were about, and the legend was born.

I suggest this. If you are gonna right a backblast, tell me something I cant find on YouTube. If I need a workout, that’s easy to find. I want the meat. What was your challenge, mentally. Who did you push. Did the PAX overcome. Did you grow as a leader.

Are you forging your legacy?

If you want to know what we do at my workouts, then show up. Otherwise just know we will be there sharpening our steel. Ill call impossible tasks not for the physical work, but to test your mind and fortitude. And just know I WILL be right there with you. Good or Bad, BC is here to stay.

I’m sure Ill get kicked out of F3 for these statements

#MILGA rising

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No lube needed

So here’s the thing, I missed a few guys. Not bc I don’t appreciate my fans, but bc I was having oxygen issues in the brain and the video evidence was maliciously destroyed.

The 4 headed monster(ish) was fantastic and went as follows

Birdcage- 5 minute run for a warm up
LTrain- bear crawls, lunges, merkins, lbc, squats, running
Cohiba- Step ups, derkins, irkins, crab walks, more running
Fogerty- burpees, bear crawl, diamond merkins, uphill, more running
Liberty Biberty- wall sits, and running, and more running

Here’s the deal, we are accelerating. We are taking the first step TODAY. I couldn’t be any happier to be taking over #Bushpit. I have ideas, you want more, I will give the people what they want. Today is a new day for me, and you, and the Wood. Show to know what I got in store for next week. #MILGA

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Minnow Pond – 8/21/25

17 at Minnow Pond for 3.5ish miles and a bounty of plank jacks, HR merkins, jump squats, and flutters. Route: Confederate, Country Club Dr, Academy, Monroe White, repeat 2x.

My message: Who is watching you? Is it someone younger? Older? What would they say about you? Are you leading by example? Are you leading through your words?

Thanks for the opportunity <@U686LEPLH> .

<@U03066JLPM0> <@U038GMXLKFC> <@UGND8G4TD> <@U02DKM63B7B> <@UJKGM3VKJ> <@UMB4FRCMA> <@U08GGTLHL> <@U038UMUEB29> <@U5DKASDQU> <@U5RTPS4M8> <@U6AS1MBPG> <@UMRNJ46AW> <@U04M7P605SM> <@U01NGHPR2HW> <@U01BA80UZCY> <@UST30T7FF>

WARMUP:
THE THANG:
MARY:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:

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Rain Was Right On Time

WARMUP: Run To Business 21
THE THANG: Thought we would have a dry morning but Mother Nature had heavy rain in store for us. It started pouring exactly at 0515 and lasted to about COT. Some pole dancing was on tap for my Q at Minnow Pond so I had pax mosey over to business 21 where there are 5 telephone poles about 1/8 mile apart. Pax started at pole 1 did an exercise and ran about 1/4 mile to road sign and ran back up hill to first pole do exercise then move to second pole and do that exercise. This pattern continued to all 5 poles where completed. Exercises were 10 reps at each pole of Hand Release Merkins, Big Boys, Monkey Humpers, Carolina Dry Docks and Hand Release Diamond Merkins. 3.5-4.25 miles where ran.
MARY: nope
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Golf Tournament October 20th Waterford Golf Course.
COT:

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Prancing ponies, pickle pointers and sucking ass

WARMUP:
SSH
IMP WALKERS
HILLBILLY WALKERS
SQUATS
MERKINS
BROGA

THE THANG:
Ladder in the lot
Merkins
Squats
CCD
LBC

MOT
Bear crawl or Lunge walk
Toy soldier
High knees
Karaoke

intervals of 5 compounded up for each island

Dora
50 merkins
100 squats
150 LBC

Wall sit 2 minutes
Burpee ladder 1 every 2 spaces

Mosey

MARY:
Freddie Mercury
Pickle pointers

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Pizza
Lunch
Christmas party

COT:
Blessings

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BushHolePit. Best if used on or before 08/13/25.

17 men, 3 Ruckers and 14 of The Ungovernable, came to BushHolePit to celebrate National Left-Handers Day. Or just to workout. Whichever.

WARMUP:
Like we needed it warmer out there. But we did do a little moseying, windmills, mountain climbers, etc.
THE THANG:
We went the long way around the school (is there a short way?) stopping for some things along the way. Some Dora, some bear crawls, dips, step-ups, muscle ups, etc. You know what we DIDN’T stop for? Pull-ups? Why? Because the AO got all bougie and walled them off from us peasants. Oh well. I would elaborate on this mornings festivities, but I made no weinke and I am not smart enough to recall all the things.

All you need to know is Birdcage was there and you probably weren’t, so you missed out. Seriously, the guy is hilarious. Love him.

Ok, back to life.
MARY: No chicks.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Read your newsletter.
COT: The 5th Core Principle.

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Pit and the Pendulum

THE THANG: Harris St Hills, pendulum from 21 to Audrey. 10 Mike Tyson’s at Audrey, 10 Am Hammers at the park and 10 Jump Squats at 21, repeat until legs are shot or time for COT

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Bethel and Naked Gun
COT: Minimal due to time constraints but done.

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