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It’s Ok To Not Be Those Things

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This is my second attempt to connect with the men of F3 through writing as we are all embarking on new stages in life. While not exclusive to F3, I think most men in F3 will connect with some small piece in here.

It’s Ok to Not Be Those Things

Sitting with my Shieldlock recently, the following statement was made, “It’s ok to not be those things.” It hit me. Why do we, me at the front of the line, spend so much effort focusing on who we aren’t rather than who we are? Couldn’t it be that who we aren’t, isn’t even realistic and therefore, we’re striving after fiction? After all, if we’re to be true to ourselves, shouldn’t we be content with not being that other person?

I was raised in an environment where the focus was being myself and not succumbing to the whims of others. But man, that’s hard. I wanted to be part of that crowd; the crowd I was convinced was cooler than I was and had more than I did. Maybe if I acted their way, spoke their way, dressed their way; that would be my ticket to acceptance. Would those be the things that would punch my ticket? In hindsight, the answer is obvious.

So, why did I spend years seeking and reaching for that acceptance? Was that going to get me invited to the sought-after event or what’s more, would it fill a void I had?

Truth is, I have spent the better part of my life not truly knowing myself. There, I said it. I was a grown man in my 30’s with a beautiful wife, great kids, nice house, involved in the community, a few event medals, good job, etc. when I realized I didn’t actually know myself. I didn’t realize the burden of wanting to be accepted that I was carrying around or, if I did realize it, I wasn’t strong enough to step out from it.

This led to the eventual construction of a façade. The façade I wanted the world to see so I’d be accepted for what I thought I needed to be. The façade. I refer to it often and it’s empowering to admit that I no longer feel the need to hide behind it. My façade was made up of a stoic exterior that could never admit to not knowing or not being able to do something. I didn’t ask for help, I rarely smiled, I said yes to prove that I could do it or because I thought it would alleviate pressure from others. This would often manifest itself in physical activities. Let me go run this errand, pick up this person, clean this up, or change my schedule. These are a few ways in which I performed in order to be accepted. I was ok with someone else not being able to do this but I was convinced, I had to perform this way. I wanted the world to be real with me while I would remain behind the safe façade I’ve established.

Maybe you can relate. Here in 2020, many of us are working from home with kids that are schooling from home. My struggle is finding the harmony as an employee that wants to get everything done on time, hit the sales number, develop a team, know the most about the business and yet on the other hand, be the same guy that when his 3 kids are taking a break from school will go outside and play volleyball with them in the middle of the workday. But what about my meeting? How do I do both? I don’t want to look back on this time with regret for not spending every possible moment with my kids, yet I don’t want to come up short on my work responsibilities. How do I handle the frustrations of wanting to show a work ethic while loving my kids more than work? How am I supposed to do all of these, perfectly? What will the world say when they hear I said no to my kids’ request? Will they see me as a failure of a dad? Who am I performing for?

Or, what if a career sales & marketing guy said he wasn’t an entrepreneur? Up until recently, if I’m interviewing candidates for a sales position and they let it slip that they weren’t entrepreneurial, that interview would be over. I wouldn’t dare utter those words myself. Why? Because I allowed my value to be determined by a trait that others could easily categorize. If I can explain my position and explain what I’m good at, people understand. If you’re looking for someone to hit a number, empower and develop a team and build a culture, I’m your guy. But it’s unlikely that I’m going to be the one to go start a business and FINALLY, I’m comfortable enough to say that without feeling unworthy in the business world.

While it’s tempting to revert to these concerns, I am comfortable and beyond content to say that my G.A.S. (Give A S…) factor around what the world judges me on is quite low. Or, as I hinted at earlier, maybe I was assuming the world was judging me and it’s really not true; I’m judging myself based on fiction. What if I were to reveal a struggle on social media? I think that’s possible and encouraged but too often, we don’t allow ourselves to be real, in public. We’ve allowed a good thing to infect our minds and therefore, control our opinions of others. Guess what, I’m not perfect. I struggle in areas. But you know what? I’m ok with you knowing that and if you’re in my inner circle, we’re going to talk about our struggles…face-to-face. When I ask how you’re doing, I mean it. Don’t respond with “good” and move on. If I’m asking, I care.

It’s ok to struggle or to say no. It’s ok to dream. It’s ok to talk about being less than perfect. Over 2,000 years ago, the world was introduced to perfection. I know in my head, I don’t have to be perfect. I’m a work in progress when it comes to transferring that head knowledge to true heart knowledge and living that out. I’m a work in progress on the path to understanding that it’s ok to not be those things I used to measure myself against.

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Leverage Your Resources

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Once upon a time, another man thought enough of you to extend an invitation. They saw something in you that you didn’t see yourself. They recognized that inside the man visible to the rest of the world, was a man invisible to himself; and that invisible man needed to be set free.

I had two men think greater of me than I thought of myself and extend this invitation. These men shared with me something they had found by way of other men extending a similar invitation. Utilizing morning workouts in any number of outdoor locations around town, my eyes were eventually opened to a level of Fitness, Fellowship and Faith I didn’t know I needed, much less, existed. Many of us have had similar thoughts and experiences.

However, that only explains part of it. In hindsight, this seems like the obvious effect of the organization, F3 (f3nation.com). The thoughts I’m sharing with you here are not intended to rewrite “Freed to Lead” or the “QSource,” but there are teachings in each of those books that have helped to shape my thoughts and do show up here. With that, I’d like to share a few of my more recent thoughts about F3 and its impact on me as I’ve journeyed down this path I’m on. In the spirit of sharing and extending an invitation to experience something similar, I’d like to invite you to read through what I’m now comfortable sharing as an attempt to leverage your resources.

Within F3, there are a ton of resources. Resources I’m not sure the founders, Dave Redding (Dredd) and Tim Whitmire (OBT), even considered. Some resources were available from the beginning back in 2011 while others are more recent. Resources like the aforementioned books, Shieldlock, mentor opportunities like Whetstone, countless community and international service opportunities, Bible studies and access to other men around the country who are willing and excited about the opportunity to help a brother whenever possible. I’ve participated and benefited from many of these over the years since I’ve become involved with F3, but it is my more recent comprehension of these resources that has inspired me.

If you’re reading this and have only participated in what we call the 1st F, Fitness, do recognize that you’ve yet to tap into the greatest resources F3 has to offer. We all know that Fitness is not only the most obvious of the F’s, it is also the easiest to talk about and the easiest to address. It is what originally brought you out into the gloom.  To show you how much I care about you, I may “encourage” you to do a few more push-ups or run a little further. After all, that is easy to measure. But it is the opportunities available through the 2nd and 3rd Fs that have brought me to experience even greater growth.

Consider the growth experienced through engaging in a Shieldlock.  Each week I come alongside three other men who consistently hold me to a standard worth living.  Surely, if left to my own devices, it is likely I will negotiate with and eventually convince myself to take the easier more ego driven, path. Something like not apologizing, forgiving or engaging. Something like giving in to a temptation or a frustration. However, when I sit down with 3 other men who know my tendencies, they can read through the façade that many others don’t know exists. This engagement in a Shieldlock as we call it, is a more intentional way to know AND show that I do matter.

Whetstone. This has been an area of struggle for me. The struggle started as the belief that I didn’t have experience or wisdom that another man could benefit from. I imagined the men who engaged in this opportunity to be significantly wiser and even spoke with wise words. In short, I just didn’t see myself in the same realm as those men. What I later learned was that I was prescribing to selfish thought. Selfish to not share my experiences or ideas with another man. Why would I let another man make the same mistakes I made just a few years earlier? I’d hate to know that another man I respected didn’t care for me enough to help me from walking down the same challenging path. While inconsistent at times, I have engaged in Whetstone relationships with blades. It is up to them to determine how this is going.

Here’s one more. How about having the pride to not ask a man who is a few years ahead of you, to be a stone? No thanks, I’m good, I’ll pass. I’m not going to burden him with my baggage. Am I talking to you? Of course, I am. This man, those men, they are all resources for you to tap into. It may take a few times to find the right fit (not the easy fit but the right fit) but don’t give up. Know that another man out there is wondering whether their experience could be valuable to you. I’ve recently become a blade again, after swallowing my pride, thinking I had to have it all together.

Does any of this sound familiar? It now brings me to the 3rd F, Faith. While it’s not about a belief in a specific faith, it is about a belief in something greater than yourself. After all, the world does not revolve around me and I am not the most important thing in this world. The primary development of my faith has not been through F3, but it has surely grown and become more of who I am, through F3. Mission trips, church involvement, Journey groups (influencers.org), leading at home, confidence to talk about my faith and the strength to live out my faith, have all accelerated because of F3.

I’m barely scratching the surface of F3 resources. These are free of charge and open to all of us. Could you imagine if this was available to all men we meet? How much could you sell this for? Or, how much would you pay for this? You know the answers to these questions.

Here is where I’m really struggling. We all know the benefits of the 1st F. I’ve gotten stronger, faster, and leaner. That’s easy for me. What’s harder for me and become the reason for me writing this is how do I share my experiences relative to the 2nd F and 3rd F? How do I share with other men that even if you’re unable to do 30 pushups straight or run an 8 min mile, F3 is still for you and F3 needs you? I believe the next-level impact occurs by truly engaging in these latter 2 F’s. I can’t share this all in a few tweets or Slack posts. I can’t fully share this here in my writing. In the end, I can’t share all my experiences because after all, they are my experiences. You must engage in these other areas, recognize you’re not perfect and you’re not expected to be perfect. Take a step into something you know you need, then you can have your own experiences that make you smile and wonder why you didn’t do so, sooner.

So, you know that guy that used to post a few days a week? That guy you looked forward to talking with after a C.O.T.? That same guy you only see when you’re getting gas, groceries or while at Church? Maybe he didn’t see F3 the same way you do now. Maybe he wasn’t aware of these additional resources. Maybe, just maybe, the time is right now to extend that invitation to get him back out in the early morning and share with him some of your recent experiences. Or maybe its time for you to take a step out and invest in your own growth, because there are resources here for you, waiting to be leveraged. Look to your left and to your right, you’ll find them.

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OTB #1 with Rucks & Sand bags

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Physically, we put in the work. Due to the suck we endured together, like hearing each other struggle through the sand bag evolutions, and other things you can read about below, there is a little bit tighter of a bond. Hard stuff builds the bond and on this Thursday morning, it was time to build.

After the planning committee did their work, we rolled into the AO with the following 60min throwdown:

Rucks consisting of the standard weight
60lb & 80lb sand bags

1mi run (slick)

To the field which was about 55yds, side to side:
MAN-MAKER BRUTALITY:
It didn’t take long but this is where we realized this would be no mailed-in workout.
With rucks on, grab a sand bag. Throw the sand bag several times until you get about 5-7yds out (about 2 throws) then do a man-maker with your sand bag (mind you, you’re ruck is still on your back). As you stopped to do your man-makers, you added 1 more every time.

25 Flutters w/ Ruck Press I/C

For the return trip, it’d be a sand bag toss (with your ruck on) then when you get overtop the bag, execute (1) 8ct Body Builder.

Run across the field and back (slick)

25 Flutters w/ Ruck Press I/C

Ruck on – bear crawl to the other end however this time, you’re dragging the sand bag, too.

25 Flutters w/ Ruck Press I/C

Ruck on – crawl bear back to the other end, however this time, you’re pulling the sand bag, too.

Run across the field and back (slick)

Finish with a 1mi run (slick)

It was challenging but it was necessary.

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Post-turkey day accountability

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9 PAX converged on The Varsity for a post-Thanksgiving session of brogan with Sasquatch, a boot camp with YHC or a ruck/run option.  Harry Caray was prepared to lead the run but after no runners showed, he joined us for boot camp.  3 ruckers – Cake Boss, Wegmans & Body Wash – departed for the gloom and YHC announced us off with disclaimers, assumption of risk and advice to tread smartly and modify as needed.  Off we moseyed to the stadium.  Here what happened:

One 1/4 mile lap around the field and a left turn into the South end zone for a little COP – we didn’t need as much here due to the broga session that took place prior.  Nonethless, a combination of windmills, SSH’s, burpees, merkins, imperial walkers, etc.  moved us to the main event.  We moseyed to the North end zone and began at the goal line.

The number of exercises corresponded to each yard line and after each exercise was completed, the method of transportation to and from each 10 yard line back to the North Goal Line varied (NUR’s, moseys, 75% run, 100% all out run, etc.).

North 10 yard line – 10 burpees OYO

North 20 yard line – 20 Hand release merkins OYO

North 30 yard line – 30 double count American Hammers in cadence

North 40 yard line – 40 double count shoulder taps in the plank position and in cadence

Mid field – The 50 – 50 double count overheads claps in candence

South 40 yard line – 40 double count side straddle hops in cadence

South 30 yard line – 30 double count mountain climbers in cadence.  We stopped at 15, halfway through to throw in 3 burpees……..just because.

South 20 yard line – 20 single count marking OYO

South 10 yard line – 10 burpees OYO

South end zone – 10 double count LBC’s and 10 double count flutters in cadence

We then moseyed to the parking lot for the four corner light pole 10-20-30 round – we got through 3 of 4 corners before 0559 was upon us

Pole 1 – 10 H/R merkins, 20 lunges, 30 SSH’s

Pole 2 – 10 diamond merkins, 20 double count American Hammers, 30 squats

Pole 3  – 10 kracken burpees (crowd favorite), 20 jump squats, 30 single count LBC’s

A quick mosey to COT left us 45 seconds for a few varying angels of the protractor and then time was called at 0600.

Announcements – Read your newsletter.

Prayers and praises were offered up and YHC reminded the PAX that even on days not labeled Thanksgiving, we should strive to be examples of thankfulness and gratitude each day.

It is always an honor to be called upon to lead the PAX.  My thanks to Splinter for the call to the bullpen and helping keep YHC accountable on a morning where sleeping in would have been a really easy thing to do.

You never know who needs you to show, besides yourself.  Keep posting and being the example to others that our world needs so much.

Until next time…….

Cyclops

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A taste of The Fort TexMex Style

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YHC got the nod to Q one of the OG workouts in the San Antonio region since was traveling for work so here is how it went down.

0529 One minute call
0530 Introduction of visiting Q and Disclaimer
Distribution of headlamps and spare light-emitting devices
0531 Mosey down from St. Lukes’s parking lot immediately offroading into ankle break valley towards the Olmos Basin Trail. Hopefully, everyone remembers the disclaimer.

Finally found the trail and we mosey for a bit before stopping to drop off the first cone (freshly purchased the night before) where PAX were lead in 10 SSH in cadence.
This pattern of a short mosey followed by a quick exercise, Pearls on a string style, continued until we reached the soccer fields loop where the intensity was increased and more than one exercise was demonstrated for the seasoned PAX.
Then the main event was finally started. Learning to take CHARGE:
Main event consisted of a two cones forward one cone back style suicide but the difference is the ability to learn from the leading PAX’s “experience”. Everyone starts the race at the same starting point and runs past cone 1 to cone2 to complete the exercise listed at cone2. Once complete run back to cone1 to complete the exercise listed on cone1. As soon as the first man completes the exercise listed on cone1 he yells out CHARGE and everyone heads past cone3 to cone4 to complete the exercise listed on cone4. After completing the exercise on cone4 run back to cone3 to perform the listed exercise. Again the first man to complete the cone3 exercise yells out CHARGE and everyone runs past cone5 to cone6 and so the sequence goes. This type of exercise is my favorite because it allows everyone no matter the skill level the chance to be in the lead and to help the team move forward. I hope that the 9 PAX were able to get this concept given the short amount of time spent actually playing CHARGE because of YHC’s poor clock management.

The list of exercises are listed below: rep count 10 of each
SSH Side straddle Hop
CDD Carolina dry docks
Cha Cha Merkins
Peter Parkers
Burpees
Jump Lunges
Bomb Jacks
Suicide Squats
Jump Squats
Apollo Ohno
Shoulder Taps
Burpees, Yes Again
Penguins
Imperial Walkers
Bobby Hurleys
Hand Release Merkins
Plank Jacks
and the crowd favorite the 8 count body bag builders. Burpee with a plank jack.

NMM:
I apologize to the PAX for the main event being short-lived because of YHC’s lack of time management, lowlight navigation in unfamiliar terrain, and the great 2ndF mumble chatter that filled the morning air. There is a special trust/bond that exists within this great organization we call F3 that allows a complete stranger who normally lives 1200ish miles away to lead a bunch of men with whom he has spent less than a few hours with through a workout with crazy exercise names and be treated like a lifelong member. I am very grateful to Dredd and OBT and all of the many OG’s and Redwoods that helped this organization grow and continue to give it away to other men in this great nation and beyond. I believe that F3 truly is a great solution to a problem that many men don’t know existed, including myself. It was an honor to be allowed to lead you men and it’s great to see the #acceleration you #HIM are doing in growing the San Antonio region. I know you gents will continue to EH guys, plant workouts and build leaders for the invigoration of male community leadership. I expect great things from you guys and if there is anything you fellas need feel free to contact me on the nation’s slack or Twitter and I will be happy to help.
Thanks to Hannibal for the opportunity to lead and Cobains for the late backblast.

Garrett Purvis
36 “Build your guardrails out of bricks”
Olaf

@g_purve on Twitter
Olaf on Slack

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12ish Days of Christmas at Snake Pit

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Been a while since I was Q at the ol’ Snake Pit and as I’m not scheduled for next month, I figured it was time to pull th5e 12 Days of Christmas workout out of the bag.

After a short warm up, we got after it.  Despite what U Haul said, we got to day 9.

Just like the song, you repeat each set every time you add another exercise.

1 – Run/Walk
2- Turkish getups
3- Goblet squats
4- LBCs
5- Shoulder press
6- Chest press
7- American hammers
8- Calf raises
9- Sumo squats
10- Lunges
11- Lawnmowers
12- Dead lifts

 

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pre_blast_METTLE FORGER_new_gear_AO

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Friends:

I’d like to make available the training gear I’ve accumulated as part of my personal training venture to the Pax of The Fort and start a new Gear AO!

What:  Dealers ( Q ) choice gear AO.

Where: 12:15 pm on Fridays at Turner Field parking lot in Tega Cay.  45 minutes in length.  Inaugural workout on Friday, 10/23.

Why:  To serve the Pax who have flexibility to work from home or may not be early risers.  To reinvigorate Kotters or recruit new FNG’s who need a shieldlock.

How:  the Weinke could include the gear in my trailer or based on the Q’s of the day preference like kettlebell, ruck, or a combination of all.  I will assist the Q’s in setup.

Special Bonus:  a commemorative patch will be awarded to the first 10 Pax who post!

FAQ:

What gear will Bear Grylls make available to the Q’s?

    • The contents of my trailer include sandbags, kettlebells, dumbells, barbells, slam balls, TRX, battle ropes, jump boxes, bench, water jugs, squat rack, strength sled, speed and agility equipment and resistance bands.  A full gear list will be provided to Q’s so they can build their Weinke.

What if the weather turns bad, will the equipment be ruined?

    • Most of the equipment is rubber-coated, however, we won’t use any bare metal items if there is precipitation.  The Q of the day can always revert to a run or boot-camp model.  There is a soccer and baseball field at Turner which provides many pain-station options.

Other questions and concerns can be sent to Twitter at F3_BearGrylls or on Slack.

 

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Three Amigos

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Small group posted Wednesday in the gloom.  No worries, we would work hard and get better.

We began with a lap around the carpool circle, stopped at the front of the school for some warm-up exercises:  SSHs, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, and Plank Stretches.

Next, we did a round of 11s between the sidewalks.  Merkins on one side, dips on the other, and bear crawl in between.  Once complete, we ran another lap around the carpool circle.

Next, we did another round of 11s.  This time, Squats on one side, calf raises on the other, and lunge walk in between.  Once complete, we ran another lap around the carpool circle.

We finished up with two sets of exercises in front of the school.  Two of us planked while the other did five Carolina Dry Docks (Second round – LBCs).  We alternated until we got to the last pillar.

Great workout and conversation with these men this morning.

 

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Sweep the core

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YHC  took over for Pantheon at the last minute to allow the scheduled Q to attend the memorial beatdown at the Coop.  I hadn’t Qed since before the pandemic and figured with numbers low, it’d be a good time to keep distant whilst also dishing the pain.

Five PAX gathered in the gloom this morning near the shovel flag at Pantheon. Divac, Tesla and Flounder I knew, but Slow Jamz I’d not yet met. The disclaimer was disclaimed while holding a chunk of cardboard that was carved off a shipment of wine that the M has been importing since February.  Fitting that the box for the merlot would have scrawlings of a madman, intent on seeing merlot on the pavement.

The Warmup

Quick mosey over to the parking lot space by the crosswalk for a quick warmup. Let’s keep it simple with 10 SSH, 10 Low Slow Squats, and a few ten count hamstring stretches. That’s it.

The Thang

Quick jaunt over to the crosswalk to explain. On the cardboard are two columns, aptly labeled “1” and “2”.  PAX are instructed to choose a column, do all the exercises and run a (.34 mile) lap on the queueing road, and continue until COT. Alternating columns is suggested as column 2 is a bit more difficult than column 1.  PAX may also choose to do both columns for a short lap in the parking lot. It’s UvU here, with about 40 minutes to see how many laps one can get in.

Column 1
10x BBS
20x Flutter (2 count)
30x LBC

Column 2
10x Rocky BBS (two punches at the top)
20x Box Cutter
30x LBC

It’s an attack on the abs, Sweep The Leg style!

COT

YHC shared some thoughts about the 3rd F (see NMM).

Announcements were announced.

Prayers were offered up:
Flounder’s friend, Sue, who we’d prayed for last week, has gone home as expected, and for her husband who has seen two wives lost to cancer.
Slow Jamz’s M, who just returned from NY. The family has lost a brother/son to a hit and run in New York.

Naked Man Moleskin

Some great mumblechatter was heard at the crosswalk. YHC was pleased with the number of complaints as well, though it was a bit disturbing as many of these complaints manifested in noises that are generally reserved for the boudoir… I suppose I’m not complaining.

Tesla smoked everyone with nine full laps. YHC got a solid eight.

Slow Jamz tried to get the flying EH on a sad clown that has been flying by Pantheon for a few weeks now, but he’s not biting. I believe Olaf spoke with him last week.

The 3rd F from CoT…

In CoT I talked briefly about how the 3rd F, Faith, is often hard to explain to people who reject faith.  I translate that pretty frequently to “Faith that I am not the center of the universe”.  And spoke a bit about my personal conviction that we need to try to put others needs in front of our own needs. And we should always be putting the needs of others in front of our convenience and luxury.

Here I expound:

I find it difficult talking about F3’s core principle “Open to all men” in relationship to the 3rd F, “Faith”.  On the surface it’s hard to make the relation work, they seem incompatible because no matter what I say, what men seem to hear is “Open to christians”, and I don’t want that to be the case.

F3 obviously isn’t for every man (if it was there would be mass logistical chaos in every city at 0500).  But how do we stop the word “faith” from auto-translating to “barrier”?  I evangelize F3 pretty frequently, and I’ve seen the facial twitch when that third F is uttered more often than not. When I witness that tic, I try to weaken the barrier.

As mentioned in CoT, that third F may be described as “Faith that I am not the center of the universe”, you often hear “I am 3rd”. Which, I feel, is a lot more appealing to those men we will meet (generally on a daily basis) who may not share your/our/my faith. While I believe in Jesus, I cannot require others to do the same (Paul going so far as to say, if they reject you, shake it off and move on).

Despite this, I know that there is often great honor to be had in living 3rd. Though there are the depraved few who see Michael Douglas in Wall Street as their god, they still might be attracted to a free workout… unless they own gyms.

There are dozens of scriptures in the Bible that expound on the inherent wrong of living luxuriously while others live in want. To live 3rd, to me, my “faith that I’m not the center of the universe”, means that I have to decide between commodity (Starbucks, Beer, Wine, the newest cell phone, my ruck, the list is almost shamefully long…) and the aid of others.

Jesus said we’d always have the poor… Those who live in luxury will never be able to shed the responsibility of caring for them, and the result of shirking that duty is pretty well explained. Over and over…

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10 Rounds at The Swamp

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Kept it simple today:

Mosey for a while:

Warmup
20 SSH
10 IW
10 HW
Some Yoga

Mosey towards Kohl’s

One round in the front of each store:
10 merkins
10 squats
10 burpees
10 squats

There are 9 stores

Mosey back stopping once for one more round. We hit 2 miles total.
We also did some BTTW at some point to break up the run.

NMM:

Been working out on what my overarching principles are… As I brainstorm, I see more that to be the human I want to be, I’ve got to choose to do the hard things.

—
Band Camp dismissed

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