Many of you are wondering, how the heck did Tolkien get asked to Q down here in The Fort? Well, glad you asked. Wakey-leaks has secured of an actual transcript of a conversation between JRR Tolkien and Longshanks on course at the Fort Bragg Spartan Race, where Tolkien SMASHED ‘Shanks time…. here it is in the interest of public disclosure:

Shanks: so word has it you got the biggest mouth in SOBland, maybe F3? Is that true?
JRR: Of course that’s true. I can because I’m a sponsored athlete.
Shanks: HEY SO AM I!!! Oral IV, Athletics 8, and a few more
JRR: pfft… they made a Pokémon Go character after me. And at least 10 pandas were named after me globally in 2016. In fact, I’m working with BUCCI right now to advertise their new men’s handbag line.
Shanks: BUCCI? You mean GUCCI right?
JRR: no BUCCI… the unlicensed knock off stuff. Much cheaper in cost and quality. Like the Piffany jewelry you got your M for her birthday, only different.
Shanks: WOW… you’ve really made it! Well I got named Longshanks because in prison I had the record for keystering the longest shank in my you know what!!!! #LegendStatus
JRR: Don’t touch me… (stare and silence)
Shanks: You really do have a big mouth. I respect that, I talk a little bit of junk myself. Being from Wisconsin and all, where our sports teams are supreme.
JRR: Ummm… my Creighton Bluejays whooped up on your Wisconsin Badgers by 12 a week or two ago in hoops.
Shanks: Oh yeah, well I have the record for most kids in a Physical Education Class in South Carolina at 20!
JRR: Dude, kids are required to go to your class. I can get 20+ PAX to show up in the freezing rain to post at one of my workouts…even when it’s not in my on region.
Shanks: Hey can you help me over the 8’ wall? Like the movie says, white men can’t jump.
JRR: 30 burpees brother… see you at the finish line. I’ll be waiting to give you your medal after I have a beer.
Shanks: That’s it Tolkien… winner Q’s in the loser’s region!
JRR: Deal… see you at The Fort!
Shanks: By the way, when are you going to start running elite instead of competitive?
JRR: I’m not elite.
Shanks: I know (mic dropped)

The Thang:

Warmup: (5min)
Mosey, Side Shuffle, karaoke, butt kicks, high knees
Imperial walker (cadence)
Low Squat (down- up) x 15
Merkin (military cadence- up down) x 15
Plank (left hand high right foot high) 10 count switch
Run back to truck

Part 1: until I call time which was 3 1/3 rounds (15min)
partner 1 bucket carry across lot (put bucket down you owe 10 CDD)
Partner 2 backwards run up hill and back down.
Partner 3 bear crawl/crab walk

Hill > bucket > crawls > Hill…

Part 2: Run to playground area, partners (10min)
1 pull-up
5 toes to bar
1 pull-up
5 knees to elbows
1 pull-up
(Switch with partner who is doing 5 reverse burpees and then American hammers)

Handoff to Longshanks 2H Q

Mosey to The Parking lot in front of Synergeics for some extended Dora:
Partner runs to the hill and back while partner exercises:
100 Bombjacks
200 Squats
300 LBC’s
200 SSH
50 Burpees

Start Moseying back for COT but stop for:
10 Dips (IC)
5 Derkins
10 Dips (IC)
5 Widearm Derkins
10 Dips (IC)
5 Diamond Derkins

COT and BOM

Announcements – Turkey Giveaway in Paradise, Christmas Party, Operation Sweet Tooth, Joe Davis Run

Prayers

NM (Tolkien):

YHC has always been impressed with The Fort’s creativity, involvement in the community, and dedication to investing in each other. Whether it’s hosting CSAUPs like Fast5k (nevermind you all cheated with the high school track star), bringing hundreds of turkeys for community outreach AND showing up in person to hand them out, or cranking out eye popping numbers for F3 Dads. The Fort has something special and should be very proud of your region. Special thanks to Longshanks for inviting me to come co-Q with him, truly an honor, dude is a beast and YHC is looking for big things from him in the 2017 Spartan season!

Flat tire was working an extra muscle group today exercising his lips by flapping his gums, even more than his core and legs!
Tesh already knew a ‘Shanks workout would be easy so he did a 3+ mile prerun first.
The very best of SOB-land showed up to throw down with The Fort and all of them came to play: Fire Hazard showed up early for a prerun with JRR Tolkien then transformed into a burpee machine during Dora. Mario was up all night hopping from bar to bar chasing after the ladies #fathersnightmare . We’ll just call it a CSAUP because his efforts were “Completely Stupid and Utterly Pointless”. Hey blame the lexicon, not me! But he did make the workout and was always at the front. Thin Mint looked in mid season Spartan Race form during the bucket carries and is just as fast backwards as forwards. YHC expects him to podium a race later this year… ELITE style.
One of the Fort’s leaders Reborn came back for the 6 on every run section, and another BOLT made sure to stop by for COT after hitting The Reservation. Thanks for your leadership men.

NM (Shanks):

1. By the way Tolkein is spelled token, as in he’s token something, don’t worry its medicinal.
2. Only reason Tolkien talks about Fort Bragg is thats the only Spartan Race he beat me in this year. Charlotte Sprint Saturday. Nope. Charlotte Sprint Sunday. Nope. Asheville Super. Nope. Did he even do Asheville? Nope. Carolina Beast Saturday. Nope. Carolina Beast Sunday. Nope. Oh yeah he ran the Sprint Sunday. Weak. Kid Rock has more wins against me this year than you do.
3. Actual conversation with Tolkien this Saturday. Hey we need one more for our six man Ultra Team for P200 as one guy dropped out. Tolkien – thats too much running. So no.
4. In all seroiusness, great to have Tolkien out to help lead the workout. Couple of months ago he stated how he needed to come to a workout in The Fort, but only after Kiawah. YHC said that I have the Q the week after Kiawah. Come on over and I’ll let you lead half. Knew what was coming then. #epicbeatdown
5. Guess YHC need to come to SOB land to repay the favor. #wheresmyinvite
5. Blessed by all that showed up with Turkeys and presents. Both were a success.

Longshanks out (mic drop) again

This cold and rainy Saturday was to be a Co-Q with YCH and Hydrant but unfortunate for us Hydrant did not make the flight back from Colorado.  Drug test may be needed Monday!!!  LOL

I humbly lead 14 other HIMs (1 FNG Viking) through a  Planet Pain workout and was honored by mumble chatter and patience.  My winkie held a half workout but we made it through with flying colors.

Welcome and disclaimer given

Warmup

SSH

R/L L/R

Imperial Walkers

SSH

Hillbillyy Walkers

Mosey to the back of the ATC but called a Omaha when I spotted wooden benches that were in need of some love.

Irkins

Derkins

Dips

Mosey to one of the Practice fields and ran three 50 yard sprints and jogged back and recovered between with some Hope words

Moseyed to the High Jump pad for some AB work and Merkins

Moseyed out of the Jail yard fence for some 1/2 exercise and runs

Runs looped the entrance circle and the exercise were

CDD

LBC

Merkins

Moseyed to the Stairway to Heaven

People’s Chair

Al Gore (Tree Hugger)

Rinse and repeat

Ran the stairway

Merkins

LBC

Mountain Climber

Then we tried a Merkin Failure I saw posted on-line

Merkins till failure then slowly move from the top of the merkin to the bottom (SLOWLY) x3 then hold 6″ until failure.  Jag was King of the Merkin today!!! Awesome work

Moseyed back to the COT for 5 minutes of PAX Choice and The Pledge of Allegiance lead by Jag

Announcements

Turkey Give Fort Mill, F3 Christmas Party, Christmas Eve Workout at Olde Town 0700 all other AOs closed, Joe Davis 5K10K run and Pre-P200

Prayers were asked and Jag delivered an awesome closing prayer

Coffee-ria  at Patty Wagon where 8 HIMs ate and swapped stories

Samurai honored and out

Conditions were miserable cold and 22 degrees

0600 8 men started the festivities with a pre-ruck of 3 miles with coupons

0630 6 men started off with pre-run with Nantan Pusher and a 5K of fun

0700 26 men gathered for an epic #OLDSchool beatdown

we picked up the Q for Peabody who is on IT, #TAP and get well my friend

Disclaimer

I got to start the festivities on Q

and we were off and running with a plan of “pearls on a string” and Double D and I had planned to visit every church in downtown Fort Mill and it was mission accomplished. Quality old school beatdown where @F3TheFort started.

couple of crowd pleaser moments were the stair repeats and the dance lessons at First Baptist

great group of #HIM out today

high quality #mumblechatter throughout

couple of good sermons

and we finished just over 3 miles

COT / Prayer and praise / BOM

Naked Man Moleskine:

here is the link to the video:
https://twitter.com/darkhelmetf3/status/807577856956137472https://twitter.com/darkhelmetf3/status/807577856956137472

here are some of my sermon notes:

1. Reflection on 2016 for you
a. 1st F = are you satisfied? Are you healthy? #250? CSAUP?
b. 2nd F = are you investing in and outside your #shieldlock?
c. 3rd F = as a leader others are watching, are you better or worse as soldier in The Lord’s Army?
d. Is your Work better or worse?
e. #Concentrica? Are those relationships in order?
i. Center bullseye = M or wife, next ring #shorties or kids, next ring #shieldlock or best friends, next ring is blades or younger men you are pouring into, and the last ring is your work because you need to eat…
f. How is your attitude? Are you having fun even when it is not fun? Goats post on mindset training
e. What would an FNG think of you and your group?

2. #BigBucks
a. What are you the most proud of to this point of your life?
b. Is F3 a passion or is helping men your passion?
c. Verses

i. Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

ii. Luke 6:31
Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.

iii. Matthew 20:26
It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,

iv. John 3:30
He must increase, but I must decrease

Double D message on hope and supporting docs are in this weeks newsletter:
http://eepurl.com/csXK_Dhttp://eepurl.com/csXK_D

We appreciate the opportunity to Q,
AYE!
CSPAN & Double D

It was a perfect morning to show up early to setup and prepare my beatdown for the Pax. Then it all quickly changed. Pax kept flowing in, one after another. 5, 10, 15, 25, 30 and on. We truly have something special going here with F3. What a showing!!!

After quick circle up of over 35+ pax and no FNG’s present I gave an abbreviated disclaimer and we were off.

The thang….

Ruckers, led by Cobra Kai, headed back to Starbucks.

We mosied over to the parking lot on McCammon Street.

Circle up, a big circle with 35ish guys

• 35 SSH IC
• 20 hill billy walkers
• Moroccan night clubs

After quick word on hope, our monthly theme. We took off and mosied over to upper parking driveway.

Count off in threes and split up into 3s. 1’s with Backdraft (who was a 2), 2’s over with Flat Tire & Bubba Bump, and Taf and I with the 3s.

Group 1 – positioned by the driveway hill
20 lbc at the top
Run to the bottom
10 Merkins
Run back to the top and repeat 5X

Group 2 – pyramid of Merkins
10 Merkins
Rest
10+3
Rest
10+3+3
Repeat this sequence for 8 minutes and modify* as required

Group 3 – Legs
20 LSS
20 Lunges
20 Sumo Squats
20 Calf Raises

With the three groups split up and off and running, the pax were cruising. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy. A little organized chaos ensued regarding when are we roating, who’s leading the roation, etc…etc… but after each group roated through, I called the Ace Santini.

Santini rounded the pax up into a platoon of 5 squads. I called exercises while one at a time each squadron ran from the parking lot down the hill on Massey St. then bear crawl half way back up the hill and finish up into the platoon. When the six was back, the next squad took off. We continued until all squads made a trip down the hill and back. While the squad ran, exercises called out included:
15 Merkins
10 Diamond Merkins
10 Wide Arm Merkins
10 Carolina Drydocks
15 SSH
10 monkey humpers (favorite for all not in the front of the squads)
10 Mountain Climbers
10 Flutter kicks
20 Freddy Mercury’s
20 American Hammers
15 Hello Dollys

We rounded this up with a mosey back down McCammon and into the parking lot of WEP for COT.

NMM
Where do I start..??..?? The fact that I had a full weinkie planned that included pre planned and pre setup pain stations along the Joe Davis run was quickly thrown out with 35 pax in attendance. The first thing the Q needs is a solid weinkie…but that weinkie needs to be flexible for anything. Ironically, as many of the pax called out, after our first COP my weinkie fell on the ground. It was symbolic of how much of an audible I was calling.

Today we had some pax from Gashouse (Gastonia) and Metro. The Nomads from GasHouse where in attendance. These Pax pick different locations on Saturday and post up. Awesome idea Pax. I enjoyed coffeeteria with you and looking forward to posting together again. Here’s there BB from today: http://f3nation.com/2016/12/03/hope/ Taf was representing from metro. This HIM introduced me to F3 a few years ago. Honored to have him in attendance.

Mumblechatter – it was Saturday after all. Time to have some fun and mumble chatter was high. From Barry Manalow pushing Lug Nut up Massy st to CSPAN bantering with Bubba Gump during the platoon of pain. And of course, the organized chaos chatter on rotations.

There was a challenge thrown out by all…with no FNG’s present and 30+ pax in attendance, we need to EH our neighbors, co-workers, family, the guy at the grocery store, anyone….we all know the unique value F3 brings to our lives. Let’s give it away.

Announcements
Christmas party – sign up and go. CSPAN will help sponsor any pax looking to go. Connect with him for details.

Joe Davis run – That was my theme for the day. It’s 1/7. Sign up. Bolt and Mary Lou (voluntold) will be doing burpees for each pax that beat them in the race and those that we sign up. Bolt has the details.

Prayers
Keep all of our pax family and friends in our prayers.

Keep Bounce House friend Jordan in your prayers. Jordan, who is in his teens, has suffered a number of sports related concussions.

As always, it’s an honor to lead leaders. Ginsu, thank you for giving the me the Q. You’re doing a great job on running this awesome AO we call The Fort.

WhatDid out!

Yes. The Saturday after Thanksgiving. When most college football teams play their rival. Clemson-South Carolina, Alabama-Auburn, Ohio State-Michigan, and the oldest of them all Wisconsin-Minnesota and the Battle for the Ax. YHC picked up this Q yesterday and thought about doing a rivalry workout. Not enough time to plan, so why not go with BLIMPS. You know the thing in the air giving those awesome shots from up high.

17 PAX posted, here is what happened after the disclaimer was given.

The Thang

Drill Bit Warmup (all IC).
Mosey to first Drill bit – 20 X SSH, 10 X Windmills.
Mosey to second Drill bit – 20 x Seal Jack, 10 x IW
Mosey to third Drill bit – 20 x Mountain Climbers, 10 x Carolina Dry Docks
Mosey to fourth Drill bit – 20 x Cherry Pickers, 10 x Moroccan Night Clubs

Mosey to the Playground for the first BLIMPS – Partner 1 runs around the playground, while partner 2 does the exercise. Switch after partner 1 gets back.
B – Burpees
L – Lunges
I – Imperial Walkers
M – Merkins
P – Pull-ups
S – Squats
Plank when finished

Mosey from plaground to old springs building park area with the short wall.
Dips x 15 (IC)
Derkins x 5 (IC)
10 step ups on each side (OYO)
Dips x 10 (IC)
Slow Derkins x 10 (IC)
10 step ups each side

Mosey to the parking lot just outside that area for BLIMPS #2. Partner one runs from parking lot to the hill street, but doesn’t go up the hill. Partner 2 does the exercise until partner 1 gets back, then switch.
B – Bombjacks
L – LBC’s
I – Inch worm Merkins
M – Muscle ups on the wall
P – Plank Jacks
S – SSH
People’s chair when finished and waiting for the six.

Mosey across the street to Veterans Park flags. Pledge of Allegiance and 22 Merkins.

Mosey up the hill. Stop in the parking lot for LBC’s, Flutters, and Rosalitas.

Start Moseying back to WEP and stop for a round of peoples’s chair and balls to the wall at the Old Springs building.

Get back to WEP. Bear crawl up the parking lot hill. 10 burpees at the top and run back down. 1 minute left so Dark Helmet says Hello Dolly for the last minute.

COT and BOM

Announcements – Christmas Party – If you can’t go, pay for someone that wants to go but can’t afford to. Operation Sweet Tooth Collection starts December 10th and runs through the Christmas Party.

Prayers/Praises – CSPAN style – everyone named a praise or prayer. All have been lifted.

Moleskin
1. Thankful to be a part of this group and to lead this group this Saturday. At 10 til 7:00 it was just CSPAN and I sitting in his Jeep wondering if anyone else was going to post. Humbling getting to lead these men.

2. I said my praise of how thankful I am for this group and what it has meant to me. 5 years ago I was going through a divorce and what really stood out to me was how many male friends I truly lacked. I had guys I would hang out with, or play golf with, or go get a beer with, but not the kind of guys I could sit down with and have a real conversation about what was going on in my life. Thanks to F3, I now have those type of men in my life who will help hold me accountable and also be there to help in my struggles.

3. Dibs on Bounce House for the next Fastest 5k.

Longshanks out