When in doubt, blame Schwartz…

With no announcement as to the Q for the day as of the afternoon of the night before, which is unusual for <@U02679GQ1AT>, but becoming very usual for The Fort overall, I mentioned casually that I would just take it. So, Barkley dared me to. No, I don’t know exactly why, but here we are. It made me think of this as a Reverse Flick. In what may be the most famous scene from the movie A Christmas Story, Schwartz dares Flick to stick his tongue to the frozen flagpole on the playground. He throws all convention out the door and skips the Triple Dare and does right for the Triple Dog Dare. Which, as we all know, must be completed for fear of ever tarnishing a man’s reputation. In the case of the Colosseum, well, the roles were reversed and the metaphorical Flick (Barkley) dared Schwartz. Look, no one reads these except <@UGU3XR5RP> anyway, and it’s a weird place up in my head… so I’m just documenting all this for evidence when my wife finally has me committed. She’ll need a preponderance of evidence that I am, in fact, not quite right. This will help.

I decided to “play all the hits” of the Colosseum for our workout, explained in slightly more detail below. But again, as we all know that these are written primarily for the stats, I won’t bother with large amounts of detail.

WARMUP:
I’m sure I did some really slow windmills and stuff

THE THANG:
– Light poles to the end (before the right turn to go up the hill)
– Stop at each pole for 5 merkins
– Head up the hill
– Stop at intersections for 15 (double count) flutters
– Down hill
– Stop at intersections again for 15 LBCs
– Run to back to the wall
– Far side of lot – bear crawl to the wall, over the wall 5 burpees, over the wall, crawl bear back
– Bottom of the hill, grab a rock
– Overhead presses and curls
– Up the hill
– Stopping at light posts for 10 jump squats
– Down hill
– Stopping at light posts for 5 lunges each leg
– Grab a rock
– Chest presses, and something else I can’t remember

MARY:
No chicks.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Read your newsletter.

COT:
The 5th Core Principle.

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No Warmup – Just Work On The Ranch

WARMUP: Nope
THE THANG:
Run to the close end of the loop at SMS. 25 Merkins I/C
Run to the other end of the loop, 25 Squats I/C
Run to the other end, 25 Heels to Heaven
Run to the other end, 25 Freddy Mercury’s

Line up on the wall. While all PAX hold themselves in the up position on the wall, one PAX performs 3 Mike Tysons.
Cycle through until all PAX perform 1 round.
Next cycle, 2 PAX perform 3 Mike Tysons.

Mosey to the close end of the stretch behind the school
Run to the other end, 5 Burpees
NUR back, 1 Burpee
Run back, 25 Shoulder Taps I/C

Mosey to the loop on the back of the school.
Partner 1: Run the big loop
Partner 2: Elbow Plank
Perform 2 rounds.

Run (or mosey) to the playground
Partner 1: 15 Pull-Ups
Partner 2: Mountain Climbers
Perform 2 Rounds

The rest of the Weinke shall remain unknown.

MARY: Yes
ANNOUNCEMENTS: You know what they are.
COT: Yes

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Drew / Davis route swap

WARMUP:
None
THE THANG:
160 to Sutton
Sutton to Sutton Place
Right on Drew or Davis (who knows), third right
Right on Harvester
Back to front of Sutton Place and back to COT.

MARY:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:

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One to Ten

WARMUP: Yea, it’s a good thing. We did that.
THE THANG: String of Pearls…classic. Mosey and stop occasionally for:

– Merkins
– Squats
– Carolina Dry Docks
– Lunges (2 is 1)
– Dips
– Monkey Humpers
– LBCs
– Mountain Climbers (2 is 1)
– Plank Jacks
– Flutters (in cadence)

Started with 1 rep or each, which Bonsai believes was barely worth coming down from the mountain for. And added a rep each time we stopped. We got to 10

MARY: Was mostly build in, but we did some hip flexibility in the last few minutes.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 7/3 service date at https://www.signupgenius.com/go/9040A45A4A929A4F49-56341795-bethel#/ could use some signup help and some hands the day of. If you’re in town on 7/3, make an effort to help serve.

COT: What are you moderating that is helpful to you? What are you moderating that is unhelpful? What SHOULD you be moderating more?

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Flat tire

WARMUP:
We rode to meet up spot, Wells Fargo
THE THANG:
We rode around town and YHC had a flat near Steve’s Fish camp
MARY:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:

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Salty chicken – IYKYK

WARMUP:
SSH, windmill, Broga, low slow squats, moroccan nightclub, arm circles

All were done to a count of 15 just to let Falcon Crest know he has the ability to move the start time back to 5:15 if he chooses.

THE THANG:
Overhead carry around large school loop around fields. Every time you dropped the ruck, you had to do 5 man makers.

To give our shoulders a break
5 man makers
Curls – 20
Squats – 20

Next we teamed up. Looping around the parking lot one Pax would overhead carry and partner would front carry behind you. After both pax carry to failure, 5 man makers and keep moving until you finish the loop.

Next we moved down to the pavilion for:
3 rounds starting at the bottom
Bear crawl to first level
10 merkins with ruck
Walk to 2nd level
15 squats with ruck
Walk to 3rd
20 LBCs with ruck

Walk along path back to bottom. Repeat until 3 rounds are completed.

Move up to playground behind school

Place all rucks in a pile and pax line up shoulder to shoulder
One pax starts to pull ruck through passing to next. Pull all rucks to one side.
5 merkins
Pull all rucks back through
5 merkins

Bear crawl with ruck pull to opposite end of playground.
10 OH press in cadence
Crab walk with ruck back start.

MARY:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:

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Harvest Pointe and back

WARMUP:
Headcount was done (10) and route called out for runners (Market to Settler Heights to Harvest Pointe, stay straight the whole time, until you can’t go any further down hill, then make the climb back out of the hole)
THE THANG: Runners ran and Ruckers rucked
MARY: Counted off (11), picked up the one eyed wonder Cyclops who got an early start on rucking.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Christmas party, BBQ/bourbon tasting, 7/4 Convergence, 7/3 Bethel, mow the FM Care center
COT: Had to be there

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Golf

WARMUP: Running with burpees
THE THANG: Golf
10 merkins and 10 LBC’s at every tee box
5 burpees at every green
Each hole varied in length – par 3, par 4, or par 5
Front 9 was both hills on Monroe white
Back 9 was from footloose to amor Artis.

PAX got to the back 9.

MARY: no time – pax were playing golf
ANNOUNCEMENTS: read your newsletter
COT: 5th core principle

Thanks for the call, NASA. :eye:

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Humidity is dumb

WARMUP:
Run away from the stench of the garbage truck.
SSH, windmill, squats, Broga, high knees, but kickers and toy soldiers.

THE THANG:
Continued over to Sonic for the escalator

Add an exercise for each round and all reps are the number for that round

2 – merkins
4- squats
6- LBCs
8- CDDs
10 – lunges
12- flutters
14 – WAM
16 – calf raises
18 – wheezy jeffersons
20 – burpees

First round 2 merkins, run a lap
Second round 4 merkins, 4 squats
Third round 6 merkins, 6 squats, 6 LBCs…

MARY:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:

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