Pastor of Pain makes a visit in the Armory

YHC was asked to Q at the Armory by a HIM named JWOW and I jumped at the request. I am use to Kettlebells and love Qing them. Today I brought with me a WO that was recently Q’d at my home AO #Cannonball by Survey Says! and I named it the Pastor of Pain after him.

We started with a basic COP with some SSH, Sun Gods and Cherry Pickers. We then headed to the cones I had set up but stopped briefly before them to get in some curls, Tri extensions, Bell Jax and big boys with a bell push over the knees. Nobody like the bell jax. We then eventually made it to where I had a few cones set up about 4 parking space’s apart from each other and began:

The Thang was basically a ladder:
Begin at Cone 1 with 10 Man Makers then Broad Jump with the Bell in hand to the second Cone and do 10 Snatches then Broad Jump to the third cone and do 10 Turkish Getups then overhead bell mosey all the way back to the first cone.
Start at Cone 1 again with 20 Wood Choppers Lunge to the second cone and do 20 overhead bell Presses Lunge to the third cone and do 20 Bell Swings then overhead bell mosey all the way back to the first cone.
Start at Cone 1 again with 30 Goblet Squats Bear Crawl to the second cone and do 30 Curls then Bear Crawl to the third cone and do 30 Bell Merkins then overhead bell carry mosey all the way back to the first cone.

Repeat the Thang again in Backwards order starting with the 30 reps segment.

We had a little time still left over so we knocked out some more Curls, Triceps extensions and big boys with a bell push over the knees. We left off the bell jax fortunately. They suck.

Got to meet a few new PAX and that is why I always like Qing and different AO’s. Found the HIM that bought my breakfast last Christmas (Spitz) and thanked him again.

Finished up with a COT (announcements, a few prayers -Apache and Cash and Kenyan-and praises and all thankful for another day).

Thanks for the opportunity to lead JWOW

I am enjoying this ride I am on and am not sure where it is taking me but all we can do is prepare and train.

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Snake Pit – Quarter Pounders w/ Cheese

After rescheduling this too many times due to conflicts, able to finally Q at this fine establishment. Special guest Partnerwork who’s kind of a big deal showed up. Gave the obligatory disclosure and we were off.

To get the blood flowing, began with a kettle bell mosey down to the lower entrance of the football field.

Warm up IN cadence:

  • SSH
  • IWs – little extra practice nice before to avoid repeating the epic failure from my Block Party Q
  • Cherry Pickers
  • Mtn. Climbers
  • Low Country Crab – found this one in the Exicon
  • Freddie Mercury

Quick recovery and Partnerwork opened the gates with the keys to the castle. Questions about a random tire placed by gate arose but was ignored.

The Thang

Line up at the goal line to explain the objective. Carry your kettlebell every 10 yards and execute number of corresponding reps to the end zone. Cyclops pointed out this is a reverse pyramid.

  • 10 – Man Makers
  • 20 – KB Swings
  • 30 – Gobblet Squats
  • 40 – Curls
  • 50 – Tricep Extensions
  • Repeat past the 50 to end zone

Checking time, needed to call a few audibles.

  • Grabbed some wall and proceeded with dirty hookups in  cadence x 30.
  • Jack Webbs (1×4 to 5×20)
  • Shoulder Taps x 30

Lined up on goal line for next field round.

Quarter Pounder

  • 10 KB swings to start, run to following yard markers, execute corresponding reps and run back backwards to start w/ 10 KB swings before running to next marker.
    • 25 yards – Merkins
    • 50 yards – American Hammers
    • 75 yards – Mountain Climbers
    • 100 yards – Calf Raises

With time running out, decided to head back to COT but with a bonus. Inspired by Geronimo’s Q at Laces In,  decided we should Indian run with our kettle bells with leader also carrying tire. It was met with enthusiasm.

Reached COT with a few minutes to spare, MARY Ab workouts in cadence until time.

Announcements: Thanksgiving convergence, Christmas party

Prayers/Praises: health, unspokens, upcoming travel

Thanks to Partnerwork for the field access , 3D for the opportunity, and the wisdom of other PAX  for this junior Q.

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Moving to keep warm on a windy day

Cyclops and YHC(Bass-o-Matic)  were blessed with the opportunity to have the Q at the Fort.  As we discussed that we had nothing really planned, nobody would have believed it as it came together nicely.

A brief intro, disclaimer and welcome Slim Jim from the New Bern PAX we started right into the warmup as we waited for stragglers to roll in.  We did the typical SSH, Windmills, merkins, imperial walkers, peter parkers and plank jacks.  A brief challenge to the group on how do you plan for the unexpected and how do you respond to those situations?  Now that everyone was ready we split off with Milkshake and moseyed to one of my favorite walls across from the memorial park.

Since the PAX looked a little tired we started of with some wall sits.  This is where it started getting a little saucy.  Round 1 each PAX did a 10 count with an arm variation until we go to the end.  Short 20 second break.  Round 2 Each PAX did 10 bombjacks till we made it down the line.  Saw some great form from the pax.

Changed it up and went to the plan position.  Each PAX held the plan until we went down the line with plank jacks.  20 second recovery and then repeated with mtn. climbers.

Rinse and repeat.  Went back to wall sits with squats for round 1 and SSH for round two.  Funny how quick 30 minutes went and then it was time to hand it over to Cyclops.

We moseyed from the Springs lot to Footloose – a good sojourn.  Once all PAX came in, we circled up for a 10-20-30 pyramid:

10 burpees OYO, 20 squats in cadence (because Bass-o-Matic did no leg work in his half of the Q ; – ) and 15 double count merkins in cadence.  After merkin completion, PAX stretched out from the plank with salutations to the left and right then holding 6 inches off the ground while Tesh gave an efficient 10 count.

We moseyed from Footloose to the front of the Fort Mill Police Department, held a belated veterans day Pledge of Allegiance to honor all who serve, and then moseyed on to Main street for more “fun”.

On the main street benches, PAX did 20 dips and 20 derkins OYO and then we moseyed to the Founders Bank lot for the “main act”

7’s –  6 Kracken Burpees on the horizontal parking space line, lunge walk to the opposite side (because we needed more leg work), 1 Carolina Dry Dock, mosey back to the line, 5 kracken burpees, lunge walk, 2 CDD’s, mosey back……etc. etc. etc. all the way down too 1 KB and 6 CDD’s to finish. PAX finished at this lot before moseying by holding a squat position and did 10 Moroccan night clubs in cadence.  A quick recovery via a 10-count and we moseyed back to the East side of WEP.

At the .1 mile drill bit – Pax bunched up for some more work:  15 double count flutters in cadence, 10 burpees OYO (just because) and 10 double count diamond merkins.  A little mumble chatter came about…but just a little – likely due to the love of burpees and diamond merkins.

A quick mosey back to COT brought us to a few minutes of Mary – which included 15 box cutters in cadence and 45 (ish) seconds worth of protractor work – PAX seemed to enjoy holding legs 6 inches off the ground after completing box cutters making the transition to the protractor more “fun”.  For some reason, pre-mature a count off started at this point – I don’t know why.

We wrapped up at 0730 per custom and moved to name-o-rama, announcements. praises and prayers.

Praise for the health care providers who are caring for many sick friends and family, who are in our thoughts, including Tesla’s Mom and Cyclops’ Dad who are battling forms of cancer.  And for Assassin who is working through an infection and awaiting biopsy results. Slim Jims grandson who is recovering from illness. Kenyan’s loss of his M; prayers for comfort and peace.

Read your newsletter.

 

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2

Music, Lamination and a Chainsaw at the Armory

Second Q in 48 Hours for a limpy YHC…

While the PAX mingle and stretch we are serenaded by the smooth stylings of Bob Seger reminding us of his time being Like a Rock.  Standard warm up situation began with Huey Lewis singing about his desire for a new drug, leading to some pain stations with partner work…

Stations

  1. Skull Crushers x20 while partner bangs out as many Box Cutters as possible, switch, repeat…  Wake Up Call – Maroon 5
  2. Kettle Bell Swings x20 while partner bangs out as many Air Dramas as possible, switch, repeat…  All Summer Long – Kidd Rock
  3. Curls x20 while partner bangs out as many Shoulder Taps as possible, switch, repeat…               If You’re Going Through Hell… – Rodney Atkins
  4. Quick wander with bells overhead while Malcolm solves problems with his chainsaw
  5. Overhead Press x20 while partner bangs out as many Sumo Deadlifts as possible, switch, repeat…  Jump – Van Halen
  6. The UHaul x10 while partner gets in as many Peter Parkers as possible, switch, repeat…          Fat Bottomed Girls – Queen
  7. Laying Press x20 while partner hammers out American Hammers, switch, repeat…                          You Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC
  8. More wanderings while evading Malcolm and his chainsaw
  9. Upright Rows x20 while partner maxes out on Low Slow Squats, switch, repeat…                            Down Under – Men at Work
  10. Rinse Repeat stations
    1. Crazy Little Thing Called Love – Queen
    2. Shut Up and Drive – Rihanna
    3. Malcolm chases us back to COT
  11. 5 minutes of Mary while R.E.M. reminds us that Everybody Hurts
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You want me to take that coupon to the top of that hill HOW??

The morning started simply enough with a warm-up mosey around WEP with stops at each pain station to warm up and explain the ins and outs of the first half workout…

Station

  1. Carolina Dry Dock to Bear Crawl in the direction of the next station in an ascending fashion…
    1. 1:4, 2:8, 3:12, 4:16, 5:20 and then run to the next station
  2. 5 Burpees then 25 Low Slow Squats finishing with 5 burpees before running to the next station
  3. 25x Shoulder Taps in cadence to 25 Lunge Walks (each leg) then running to the next station
  4. 60 count Honeymooner to allow for reset, 20x Merkins in Cadence, 20x Low Slow Squats in cadence and running to the final station
  5. 25x American Hammers in cadence, 25 Plank Jacks in cadence
  6. Rinse and Repeat course until halted by JWow

Then began the real pain…  after unloading coupons in the shape of cinder blocks from the back of the Slash-mobile we wandered off to a secluded portion of the park…

JWow found many ways to carry the coupons up a hill in an irrational and chaotic way…  A grand time was had by all.

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11 braved the gloom and supported my VQ at the Tomahawk this morning.

Set up was in stations and with partners to facilitate the proper acceleration from each participant.  Songs set the beat and the timer with a periodic visit from our favorite Chainsaw wielding problem solver, Malcolm.

Playlist was as follows:

  • The Boys are Back in Town
  • Welcome to the Jungle
  • Wake Up Call
  • All Summer Long
  • Jump
  • Malcolm the Chainsaw Man
  • Golden Years
  • Crazy Little Thing Called Love
  • You Shook Me All Night Long
  • Malcolm the Chainsaw Man
  • Fat Bottomed Girls
  • Down Under
  • I Want You to Want Me
  • Malcolm the Chainsaw Man
  • Everybody Hurts – for 5 minutes of Mary
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Kettlebells of Catan

YHC is quite thankful for the opportunity to Q the Armory. I’d been avoiding bells for a while to try to up my running game and down my BMI game, and throwing a bell in the back of the car gave me that warm, familiar feeling…

Rolled into the parking lot and saw an impressive fleet of vehicles in the gloom.  Quickly dropped off my small box of goodies and joined the pax just in time to disclaim that I’m no professional.

Warm Up

Things started off with a quarter mile mosey around the parking lot. Followed by some SSH, zucchini** pickers, merkins, mountain climbers, and windmills.  Then grab the bells and head to the NE lot where my box of stuff was.

What’s In The Box?

After we paired up I pulled out the box’s contents. 4 pens (all I could find this morning) two dice from my wife’s copy of Settler’s of Catan, and 8 sheets of paper.

Math? Really…?

Stats, yeah… If you’re familiar with the distribution of a die roll of 2 six sided dice, you’ll see why rolling 2 and 12 are particularly painful, the odds are 1/36 for each, while rolling a 7 is 1/6.  Let’s look at the bell curve (more of a triangle).

This is the core game mechanic in the game Setttler’s of Catan.  Using probability along with some randomness, the game rewards people 5/6ths of the time and punishes them 1/6th of the time.  YHC thought long and hard on how to include that mechanic in our morning workout, but decided on loyalty to the beatdown. Perhaps later more will be added to that 7 roll.

Enough of that noise…

Back to the Thang, the least likely rolls were assigned the more difficult tasks, while the more probable rolls had tasks that PAX could more readily repeat. Each sheet was identical:

2. 20x man makers
3. 20x upright rows
4. 10x man makers
5. 8x each/16x both arm curls
6. 10x goblet squats
7. 15x swings
8. 20x chest press
9. 8x each plank row
10. 20x dead lift
11. 5x each Turkish get up
12. 20x man makers

YHC quickly explained that every team was to roll the dice, and the roll dictated the exercise they were to do.  The counts on the paper were per person, not per team. A team was free to divide the exercises how they saw fit. So if 20x man makers was rolled, then they could split it 20/20 or have one guy do 35 and the other 15. Bandcamp swiftly pointed out that it should be 35 and 5, and YHC with matched rapidity reminded everyone that he is not a professional.

So, having to do 20 man makers each should be relatively rare. And, yet, they were rolled 13 times by teams that recorded their pain.

Each team performed the set and could mark them down so that they could keep track of their randomized beatdowns. After each completed set, the teams would run across the parking lot (~50M) perform five big boy situps, then run back and roll again. We did this for the entire workout.

With five minutes left, and Divac rolling yet another 2, YHC called a ‘2’ for all the PAX and with 90 seconds left we carried our bells back to COT.

COT

Announcements
There’s probably a convergence on Thanksgiving
Join Slack
Read up on the Vasectomy Channel!
Read your newsletter

Prayers
YHC reminded everyone that the COT is a real trust, and that no one would be going home to talk about so and so to their M’s, and it should be considered a safe place. Went around the circle (starting with YHC) and asked each of the PAX to issue a praise or prayer, most chose praises.  My heart was warmed by the praises that were offered and we had a quick prayer before dispersing.

Always a pleasure to lead a workout.

The team’s sheets

Links to the photos in my google drive. Enjoy

https://photos.app.goo.gl/Te3AZzotv81cexq5A
https://photos.app.goo.gl/AbvHzjagrPdvNGu28
https://photos.app.goo.gl/Qxes3Wo4PaGQnKW78

** Last week Gears called this the “potato picker”. Pretty sure in the lexicon it’s “tappy taps”.  One of my goals will be to completely obscure this until it’s utterly recognizable to anyone outside fo the Fort.

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3

Merkin Mania

It was a chili morning and I was over at Cross Town Rival FMHS to lead a WO at Laces In. I got there a little early to loosen my old bones and fortunately for me I ran into Pusher. This was a good thing because whether he knows it or not I like to soak up what he has to say. Good Dude. My grand-dad always told me two things (one I can’t say here, Snake knows what the other is) and the other is – Always listen when a wiser man is speaking. Alright enough of that, we circled up and I gave a disclaimer and I added also to please look to your left or right and get a visual of who is here because we will be moseying around in the dark and I want to make sure we all know who is all here.

I did my traditional Moseying COP:
30 SSH IC with 20 Wide arm Merkins IC (Werkins)
Mosey
20 Seal jax IC with 20 Ranger Merkins IC (which are regular Merkins if u ask Jedi) and I agree
Mosey
15 Smurf jax IC with 10 Diamond Merkins IC

Thang 1: We then found some curb and did one of my new favs – Wheel of Merkins

Grab a piece of curb, and did a 5 incline merkins. Staying in the plank position, rotate 90 degrees clockwise until your body is parallel to the curb with right hand on the curb and left hand off it. Repeat 5 merkins Rotate 90 degrees more and perform the same number of decline merkins. Rotate 90 degrees more. Repeat with left hand on the curb and right hand off it.

Did this from 5 down to 1.

Thang 2: Knocked out a string of pearls 5 squats, 10 Bomb jax, 15 Mt Climbers and 20 Big Boys then back down. I tried to keep everything in cadence. I like that so we all can stay on track and together.

I took a minute to discuss picking up the six and the fine line of when to do it and when not to. What I mean by that is when do you let the six give that extra push on his own. Hope this makes sense.

Thang 3: 11’s with Mike Tysons and Squats.

Thang 4: Wheel of Merkins Again. This time not stopping between reps 5 through 4, Rep 3 on its own then 2 and 1 without stopping.

Rounded out the last few minutes with some ab work. I did 10 flutters in cadence and Stang said that is weak.

Announcements:

Diaper Drive, Coat Drive, Nessie

Prayers for Duck Dynasty’s pregnant sister, Rebel’s daughter getting married this weekend and our Children.

Thanks again for the opportunity to lead Cyclopes!

Two Ferns!

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2

Chutes and Ladders (not really…)

8 posted at The Armory and may wish they hadn’t.  I joked that I had done Demented Uno too recently (Friday at The Hive) so I had to come up with a new game.  Chutes and Ladders is what I threw out on Twitter.  Sadly, I couldn’t come up with a way for that to happen.  This was the best I could do.  More of a Pyramid of Pain.

Warmup – Mosey, Moroccan Nightclub, Hillbilly and Imperial Walkers, Windmills, Cherry Pickers, Plank, Honeymooner, Plank, Downdog, alternate calves in Downdog

Next started the pain

10 ManMakers

20 LBCs with Bell

30 Skullcrushers

Mosey w/ Bell

40 Curls (or 20 each arm)

50 Tricep Extensions

Mosey w/ Bell

60 Overhead Press

50 Flutters with Bell

Mosey w/ Bell

40 Goblet Squats into calf raises

30 Rows (15 each side)

Mosey w/ Bell

20 American Hammers

10 Turkish Getups with a butterfly or lat raise on your back to start (5 each side)

Still had 16 minutes, so PAX called exercises (Manmakers, Uhauls, etc, even rotate one bell and did rows and BBS)

 

 

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2

Launching the Snake Pit

YHC was honored to be asked by 3D to Q out East and, based on the calendar, an inaugural Q for the Fort’s newest kettle bell AO.  It required a separate trip to get familiar with the grounds, but a quick scan of the A/O left YHC with lots of options and, fortunately, a great group of HIMs gathered to launch the Snake Pit.  After disclaimers were put forth and JWOW came in hot, we moseyed off around the parking lot, without the bells.

COP – Corner #1 – low slow squats x15

Corner #2 – Side Straddle Hops x 20

Corner #3 – Imperial Walker x 15, People’s Chair hold with Moroccan night clubs x 15 and a                                     10-count hold

Stadium entrance – Merkins x 10, salutations right and left, 6-inch hold with a 10-count

PAX grabbed their bells and moseyed into the stadium, down to the field for a partner pyramid.

In any adversity or challenge we face in life, going through it with others helps ensure we come out stronger on the other side.  In the spirit of working through a challenge (and because partner work was notably present), we did, well, partner work.

While partner 1 began the exercises at the goal line, partner 2 ran to the 50 yard line and back and picked up the exercises where partner 1 left off.  Exercises built on one another a la pearls on a string, to the mid point anyway.

10 goblet squats

10 goblet squats, 20 hammer curls

10 goblet squats, 20 hammer curls, 30 tricep extensions

10 goblet squats, 20 hammer curls, 30 tricep extensions, 40 American hammers (w/bell)

10 goblet squats, 20 hammer curls, 30 tricep extensions, 40 American hammers (w/bell), 50 swings

50 swings, 40 American hammers (w/bell), 30 tricep extensions, 20 hammer curls, 10 goblet squats

40 American hammers (w/bell), 30 tricep extensions, 20 hammer curls, 10 goblet squats

30 tricep extensions, 20 hammer curls, 10 goblet squats

20 hammer curls, 10 goblet squats

10 goblet squats

Once all were finished (PAX planked or did LBC’s if they finished before the 6), we moseyed with bells to the flag for a pledge of allegiance and did 30 flutters with the KB press

Mosey out of the stadium back to the lot for the start of a partner DORA – 50 swings and 100 hammer curls.  Partner 1 started the exercises while partner 2 ran to specified landmarks and back, and vice versa.

With no time left to get to 150 and 200 on the DORA, we moseyed back to COT for:  20 flutters with the KB press and 15 LBC’s with the bell.  At that point, it was 0600 and work was complete.

Announcements were made, prayers and praises were offered and YHC led us out.

Special thoughts are with Alright Alright Alright as his ankle heals.

Thanks to 3D for the opportunity to lead the inaugural workout and launch of the Snake Pit and to have the privilege of getting better in the presence of many HIMs.

Honored,

Cyclops

 

 

 

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