Fish Tales with Birdcage

We had 9 at varsity (2 for IronPAX, 1 proctor, and 6 for a Cindy beatdown. Here’s what we did:

Warmup
– 10 Low Slow Swuats
– 10 Mountain Climbers
– 10 Windmills
Mosey to get a cinderblock

– 10 Manmakers
– 15 Curls
– 20 OH Press
– 25 Flutters with a Press
– 30 Cindy Swings
– 20 Squats
– 15 Skull Crushers
– 10 Sit-up to Press
– Jog to AO Jones

Repeat 2 more times

NMM
Below is an AI generated backblast about yesterday’s workout. Some of it is true.

The sun had yet risen where the flags would be, and the usual quiet was shattered by the sound of furious guitar riffs echoing across the lot. Rumbling Bald himself had decided that today was the day he would reinvent himself as a heavy metal solo act. His amps were cranked to eleven, his hair (which may or may not have been real) was blowing in the breeze, and every bird within a mile radius had fled in terror.

In a parking spot nearby, Birdcage was already five tall tales deep. “And that’s when Dark Helmet single-handedly wrestled a grizzly bear with a lightsaber and taught it calculus!” he boomed, waving his arms dramatically. Nobody was buying it, but everyone kept listening because Birdcage’s delivery was too good to ignore.

Time Machine, meanwhile, sat cross-legged on the asphalt, looking like he had aged a century overnight. “What am I doing with my life?” he muttered, staring off into the middle distance. “I mean, posting at Varsity? Was that really my legacy? Out of all possible timelines, why did I land there?” He sighed so deeply that Rumbling Bald’s double-bass pedal briefly went out of rhythm.

Finally, Spiderman dropped in from a nearby tree branch, landing with a thud. “Hey, uh, what’s all this?” he asked, eyeing the stack of cinderblocks Italian Job had been planning to incorporate into Bald’s stage show.

“Those,” Rumbling Bald growled, “are for dramatic effect. I need someone to swing them into the pit when the breakdown hits.”

Spiderman looked at the rocks, then back at Rumbling Bald, then immediately raised both hands. “Nope. Nope nope nope. Swinging heavy things is not in the contract.” With a single web-thwip, he was gone before anyone could argue.

Birdcage stood, puffed out his chest, and pointed dramatically toward the horizon. “Did I ever tell you about the time Dark Helmet built an entire stadium out of marshmallows just to host the galaxy’s first interstellar dodgeball championship?”

Time Machine groaned, Rumbling Bald shredded harder, and somewhere in the distance Spiderman was still muttering: “Nope. Not my job.”

And thus, the morning at NaFo ended the way all their gatherings did—half concert, half existential crisis, and entirely ridiculous.

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Up yours!

WARMUP:

Yes. Usual suspects and some dynamic stretching followed by some plank work (side note: Fishstix is a badass and did a pre-workout with sandbags)

THE THANG:

Starfish Routine or as Change Order called it, “Spread Eagle”

Center complete three man makers with sandbag every time you were back in center, 17 times total

complete x amount of reps at each of the 4 corners

Increase reps each round, 20, 25, 30 and 35

Exercises

CDD
Hand Release Merkins
LBCs
Monkey Humpers

MOD changed per round

Lunge walk
Bear crawl
Crawl bear
Walk :rolling_on_the_floor_laughing: (After 501 reps we were a bit fatigued)

From there we moseyed to the pull-up bars because BAOPS.

Took turns calling out ab exercises while one PAX did pull-ups to failure
:two: rounds of this was sufficient

Mosey back for Mary

MARY: 3 minute more of her
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Golf tournament
Invergence
Convergence
Fundraising for clean water for Kenya will be starting up!

COT: lifted up DDs M, Badlands, and praises for Pax supporting one another!

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Snatch and Run

WARMUP:
The 2.5 mile pre run

THE THANG:
A weird version of 21’s
Cones were set up at 50m intervals up to 500m
Suicide run to each cone performing cleans every time you go back to start.
E.g.
Perform 10 cleans and then run to the 50m cone and back (100m)
9 cleans, then run to the 100m cone and back (200m)
8 cleans, 150m cone (300m)

The amount of cleans plus distance ran = 11

MARY: huh ?
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Bethel, 9/11 CSAUP, Golf Tournament

COT:

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Fathers were Forged

WARMUP: SSH x20, IWx15, HWx15, WMx10, CPx10, Merkinsx10, MCx10, PPx10, PPx10
THE THANG: Mosey to hill. At each light do 2 burpees to statrt then mode of transportation then 4 burpees at each light and end with 2 burpees at light.
Modes of transportation: Bear Crawl, Crab Walk, Power Skip, Lunge Walk, Karaoke
Then down the hill the same Burpee count:
Mode of transportation: Karaoke, Walk Lunge, Skip Power, Walk Crab and Crawl Bear.
Mosey to wall: 2 sets each of wall sits and BTW. Each man did a ten count.
MARY: Each called and exercise: American Hammer, LBC, Hello Ladies and X-O
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Talked about Forged Fathers. How to step up when your child has special needs.

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Escalator and More

WARMUP: SSH, Windmills, Imperial Walkers, Hillbilly Walkers, stretchy things.
THE THANG: Moseyed to the lot in front of the theater.

Using the Parking spaces start at one end, Bear Crawl 2 lines do 1 Merkin, Crawl Bear 1 line and do 7 squats. Bear Crawl 2 lines do 2 Merkins, Crawl Bear 1 line and do 6 squats. Repeat until you do 7 Merkins an 1 squat.

4-Corner Escalator
Corner 1
– Merkins – 10 reps
Corner 2
– Merkins– 10 reps
– Squats – 20 reps
Corner 3
– Merkins – 10 reps
– Air Squats – 20 reps
– Lunges – 30 reps (15 each leg)
Corner 4
– Merkins – 10 reps
– Air Squats – 20 reps
– Lunges – 30 reps
– LBCs – 40 reps

After this we went back down the escalator .

Mosey to the fountains for 11’s.

CDDs
Dips

MARY: Piston Crunches, Peter Parker’s, Parker Peter’s, American Hammers, plank
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Bethel Men’s Shelter, Invergence, Memorial Stair Run, read the news letter.
COT: Prayers were said.

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OGs at Alcatraz

It was a perfect weather morning
WARMUP: Mosey, windmills, IW, merkins, plank stretches
THE THANG:
Smuggler Q
Modified Dora on the Hill.
Big boy sit ups /run 1 lap
Flutters/ run 2 laps
LBCs/ run 3 laps

Step ups/dip/derkin series

Wall sit with bear crawls

Hand off to Jekyll Q
Ring of Fire. 8 cones 20 paces away from center. Do exercise at cone, bear crawl or lunge walk to center for 5 burpees. Run out to next cone. Merkins, LBC, plank punch, squats, bombjacks, mountain climbers and two I can’t remember.

Everyone got Two rounds. Leaders got 3+.
MARY: included during workout
ANNOUNCEMENTS: newsletter
COT:

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Partners, Light poles and Blimps

WARMUP: Mosey to the side of the school for exercises in cadence:
Windmills
Cherry pickers
Imperial walkers
Hillbilly walkers
Seal jacks
Side straddle hops

THE THANG: part 1 – partner up and either people’s chair or BTTW while partner 2 runs to the end of the lot and back. 3 rounds

Part 2 – Blimps at the light poles

At each pole pax added an exercise on the way up and dropped one on the way down. Burpees were never dropped – just because

5 – Burpees
10 – Lunges
15 – Incline Merkins
20 – Merkins (Modified to CDD’s on the downhill portion)
25 – Pulse squats AKA Monkey jumpers
30 – Squats

Two lessons from Seneca shared at the top of the hill

1 – we suffer more in our imagination than in reality

2 – he who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary.

How often in our lives do we let our perception of events influence us poorly? Our response is all we control – the event doesn’t care how we feel about it.

After 11 light poles worth of “fun”……back to COT

MARY: Just enough time for protractors and rosalitas with just a few hello dolly’s. That took pax to 0715
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Many – read your newsletter
COT: 5th core principle

Thanks for the call, Float Bridge. Honored to lead. :eye:

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Tour of Schools

WARMUP: Instructions
THE THANG: Fort Mill Pkwy → Catawba Ridge HS → Forest Creek MS → back through Doby’s. Route covered ~4 miles.
– Lead Pack: Badlands, Vuvu, Grout, Farmers Only — looked like they were late for curfew.
– Middle Pack: Splinter (YHC), Tomb Raider, Shack-a-roni — kept it honest, grinding steady.
– Cleanup Crew: Rock Thrill + the ruck squad (Happy Hour, Clickbait, J. Cruise) — making the weight look easy, but we all know better.

MARY: Catch your breath
ANNOUNCEMENTS: IronPax, Bethel, HIM Camp, upcoming races.
COT: Time flies and be present. You don’t know how long you have with the ones you love.

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