The Kickoff of the Funhouse Farewell Tour

WARMUP:
I am certain we warmed up.

THE THANG:
It occurred to me as I sat to write this, that I have no idea (since it was a MONTH ago) what all we did that morning. I usually have a plan written out ahead that I either commit to memory, or will even shove a printout in my pocket to reference just in case. I didn’t do that this time. I know that I tried to call a few of the favorites of <@UGNDJBDU3> in his honor. I know we hit The Zipper and we definitely performed the Gonorrhea Burpee (because it has The Clap), but that’s all I really recall…

Now, the only person likely to read this is <@UGU3XR5RP>, but I just got painfully convicted about not writing Backblasts in a timely nor efficient manner. As I was looking back to see if I could find this weinke, I discovered that I have the BB from both my FNG post (administered by <@UN6U5PXNJ> and <@U08GGTLHL>) and from my VQ at The Armory.

<@U07QXBKKF5F> joined us as an FNG that morning. As it turns out, this came at a critical time in his life… and is hopefully blessing it. But, I failed him as a Q. He now does not have the enjoyment or blessing of being able to go back and read the report from his first post and reflect on that in the same way that I do. The first day I posted, I was sure I was going to die when Pusher said, “And now for the second half, I’ll hand this off to Jekyll”. I didn’t understand how the toughest workout I had ever done to that point in my adult life could have a SECOND HALF.

That’s a cherished memory. So, for Road Rash and every man after him, I commit to writing BackBlasts, making them interesting and timely, and hyping the reading of them after the fact. I also will attempt to persuade other men to do the same.

MARY: No chicks.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Read your newsletter.

COT: The 5th Core Principle.

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75mins, a little complexity, a lot of effort

The image of the board will be used as the workout details but in case others want to use this, here are a few notes to consider:
– Split the group if needed.
– Predetermine a good distance for the Mode of Transportation (M.O.T.) and ensure it’s clearly articulated.
– Keep repeating the “Thang” section until every PAX completes 1 time on the M.O.T.
– Give example of the exercise before that “Thang” section, not all examples in the beginning.
– Open to other feedback
WARMUP:
THE THANG: See image.
MARY:
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Newsletter content.
COT: 5th Core Principle

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Tortoise and Hare pre-yog

Accepted this Q invite before I realized it was same day as the Tortoise and Hare CSAUP. No worries – all bad decisions can be compounded with other bad decisions so decided to let her rip.

A few PAX were out running already when we started. For normal start time PAX, 2 went trails and 5 hit the streets.

Trail – enter kingsley and immediate right – continue to dogwood and stay right on dogwood all the way to Cantrell ave where you will get on Muscadine. Stay course until you get to Azalea where you will find your way back to the spillway. you will hop on Haigler and go around lake and get to timberline and bring you back to Kingsley and back to CoT.

Road – get on 160 and dodge traffic over I77. Left on sutton rd then right on front st into baxter. Continue onto settlers height/Stratford run/harvest point until you reach the end. Turn around and come back

Thanks for the opportunity to lead!

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LR Clowncar beatdown

WARMUP: Disclaimer brought to you by Slow Jams then an introduction to my fellow CO Q’s and the theme of the beatdown, Accountability, was explained and what that means to me. Followed by some in cadence exercises and stretching.
THE THANG: Mosey to bus loop where Slow Jams called curb 7’s. Starting with 1 curb dip, bearcrawl out to next curb for 6 incline merkins, crabwalk back. So on and so forth.
Cubbie was next up. He provided his insights on our group and where accountability plays its part. Mosey to pull up bars for partner station work. 1st station – 10 pull ups, 2nd station – 25 WW1 sit-ups, 3rd station – 25 leg lifts, 4th station – 25 v-ups, 5th station – 25 lbc, 6th station – 25 dragon flutters. Following the completion of all stations we then took a mosey to front entrance hill.
Skipper then took the helm. He zeroed in on a stoicism based message that aligned with accountability in your personal actions. We then proceeded with 5’s from light pole to light pole with lunges and jump squats. Final mosey to the band lot where Half Shell finished with a final message on how our accountability plays an important role in keeping him on track. He thanked us with 50 yard sprints and exercises that summarized the entire workout. 25 CDD’s, 25 Merkins, 25 BBS, 25 Superman’s, 25 Squats, 25 calf raises.
MARY: no time
ANNOUNCEMENTS: bethel men’s, stuff the bus, tortoise and hare, blood drive
COT: we all got an opportunity to share what was weighing on our hearts and minds. Because after all, we are men and whether we like it or not, we can’t fix everything on our own. Don’t be ashamed to be vulnerable and reach out for help!

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The Greatest Workout of All Time? Yes.

WARMUP: Probably. No one remembers.
THE THANG: A few rounds of 11s, 7s, and other nonsense.
The REAL nonsense, though, came in the form of setting things right in the naming department. Sadly, in only 45 minutes, I couldn’t get to everyone, but I will tell you the ones I DID get to…
– is now Kerrigan
– is now Insertion Point
– is now Father Time
– is now Mama’s Boy
– is now French Tip
– is now Tickle Me Ebenezer
– is now Agent My Pleasure
– is now Dumpster Juice
– is now Dumpster Juice II: The Revenge of Dumpster Juice
– is now Stateline Vapes
– is now Gender Confusion
– is now Backward Flush/Dude Wipes
– is now Dementia
– is now Halfway
– is now White Boots, and
– is now Twin Peaks

For more on WHY these Pax got new names, you’ll have to ask them, because I only vaguely remember…

This is why you shouldn’t miss when YHC is the Q. NOTHING but good times.

MARY: No chicks
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Read your newsletter.
COT: The 5th Core Principle.

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Beautiful Morning Beatdown

WARMUP:
Rolling in late, had stepped up to start the beat down while I got out of the car. I gave a quick disclaimer and continued with a warm up of IW, SSH, LSS, runner’s stretch, merkins, MC.

Mosey around the campus. Every few hundred yards, circle up to hold a plank for the 6, then five merkins. Then continue. After about 5 minutes of moseying and merkins, an unnamed PAX asked whether there was a weinke for this workout to which I ~threatened~ answered, be careful what you wish for. We moseyed some more and after the second lap, we went to the railings at the back of the theater for supine rows x15 oyo. Mosey to more railings and more supine rows for a total of three sets & mosey back to COT to unload some kettlebells from my car

THE THANG
Partner up and each pair grab one of four kettlebells: 20LBs, 25LB, 35LB, 50LBs. With partner & bell slow mosey to the ~bottom of the hill~ adjacent parking lot. The bells are arranged from lightest to heaviest. Partner one does exercise with the kettlebell and partner two runs to the opposite side of lot, does and exercise and return, and switch. After each set, all pairs rotate up to the next bell, except the PAX who were on the 50LB, they get some relief by going to the start. We did this until all PAX got in reps with all the bells before starting a new round of exercises which were:
P1: KB swings, P2: 3 burpees
P1: one arm row, P2: 3 merkins
P1: thrusters, P2: 3 lunges 2is1
P1: Romanian DL, P2: 3 flutter 2is1

Riffle carry the bells back to COT, swapping with your partner or another PAX as needed.

It’s always an honor to lead in the Fort and always fun to challenge myself as I hope I challenged the PAX. Good work to everyone and let’s hope I didn’t scare away the FNG

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No Run Dora

Had my weinkie prepared by Wed. afternoon. Participated in the SweatyBarry on Thursday night. Immediately afterwards grabbed the weinkie and reduced the rep count by half. I and the rest of the PAX this morning thank you .

WARMUP: Started with 2 laps around the Bob Jones parking lot while mixing in some high knees, buttkickers, and karaoke. Circled up near the flag and performed the following: 10xMNCsinIC, 1 burpee OYO, 10xCPsinIC, 2 burpees OYO, 10xLSSsinIC, 3 burpees OYO, 10xIWsinIC, 4 burpees OYO, 10xHWsinIC, 5 burpees OYO. We were warm and ready.

THE THANG:
50 – Alternating KB Lift, Clean & Press
1 partner performs the exercise until the other partner completes 10 Kraken Burpees, then switch until total rep count is completed

75 – Alternating 1 Arm KB swings
1 partner performs the exercise until the other partner completes 20 SSH IC, then switch until total rep count is completed

125 – 2-handed KB Thrusters
1 partner performs the exercise until the other partner completes 20 MCs IC, then switch until total rep count is completed

150 – KB Bent Over Rows
1 partner performs the exercise until the other partner completes 25 LBCs IC, then switch until total rep count is completed

175 – 2-handed KB Swings
1 partner performs the exercise until the other partner completes 25 Flutters IC, then switch until total rep count is completed

MARY: No time

ANNOUNCEMENTS: CSAUPS, Blood drive in Massey this weekend, lots of 2nd F opportunities out there so get involved, read your newsletter.
COT:

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The Tour de Fort Mill: Where Burpees Meet Churches and Açaí Dreams

I rolled up this morning and was surprised to see so many pax already there with five minutes to spare. Hopped out of the vehicle to find we had an FNG in attendance. At 6:30am, I gave the disclaimer and we started the workout:

Warm-up:
– 10 Chain breakers
– 10 Italian night clubs
– 5 Side Straddle Hops

The Thang:
1. Run to Harris Street Park
– 5 Kraken Burpees

2. Run to Fort Mill Church of the Nazarene
– Halfway plank for the six
– 5 Kraken Burpees
– 10 Imperial Walker Squats

3. Run to the old Springs building across from The Print Shop
– Stop for the six at the Valero
– 5 Kraken Burpees
– 10 Imperial Walker Squats
– 15 WW2 Sit-ups (Omaha this round to 15 Seal team sit-ups)

4. Run to the Fort Mill Church of God
– 5 Kraken Burpees
– 10 Imperial Walker Squats
– 15 WW2 Sit-ups
– 10 Mike Tysons

5. First Baptist Church Fort Mill back parking lot
– 5 Kraken Burpees
– 10 Imperial Walker Squats
– 15 WW2 Sit-ups
– 10 Mike Tysons
– 20 Apollo Ohno’s

6. Run to Unity Presbyterian Church side parking lot
– 5 Kraken Burpees
– 10 Imperial Walker Squats
– 15 WW2 Sit-ups
– 10 Mike Tysons
– 20 Apollo Ohno’s
– 20 Worst Worst LBC’s (this seemed to be a crowd pleaser)

7. Run to Maui Açai Food Truck
– Wait for the six, then 15 monkey humpers in cadence

8. Run to the bottom of Massey St
– Nured up the hill to the entrance to the parking lot

Once at the entrance, we lunge-walked across the parking lot, headed for the transmission line, but I called an audible due to the time and we ran to COT.

Overall, we achieved 3 miles.

Announcements:
– HIM’s Camp
– Hog & Coyote on 6/15

Prayers and Praises:
– Loss of Dark Helmet’s father, Frank
– Kids graduating
– A friend going through a nasty divorce
– Mental health, especially when we are in a funk or injured
– Health of our kids

Great job to everyone who participated today! Let’s keep pushing and supporting each other. Aye!

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