I arrived in excellent spirits completely unaware that Snake Pit is a kettlebell workout. As I was without a kettlebell or an appropriate weinkie, I had to improvise quickly. I borrowed a kettlebell and possessing both a deck of cards and a Bluetooth speaker, for my planned bootcamp Q, lead the PAX to the bottom of the hill.

On the walk, I could only think of four exercises. PERFECT! There are only 4 suits in a deck of cards. Unfortunately, all I could think of was: manmakers (spades), swings (clubs), big boy situps (hearts), and squats (diamonds). Sometimes when the pressure of the moment is upon you, your mind gravitates to a core workout that is less that effective (big boy situps) and an exercise like manmakers which is best done in more limited rep counts than a deck of cards provides. Swings and Squats are more appropriate for a deck of cards, so 50% ain’t bad, right?

It’s important to remind that PAX that occasionally at an F3 workout, you get what you paid for. I think that’s core principle number one.

To make up for my chosen exercises, I called a run to the top of the hill (intersection with FM Parkway) after each 5 cards. Surely this would give the PAX plenty of time to come up with disgruntled yet witty mumblechatter. They did not disappoint. I even chose to leave my phone in the car so I could skip the initial run and retrieve it. Now for the remainder of the workout, we at least had tunes coming from the Bluetooth speaker.

As luck would have it, I have never shuffled a deck of cards before and we had 42 manmakers in the first string of 5 cards. While the PAX showed great resilience in the face of such a steep rep count, I realized that I will read the Site Qs invite a little more carefully next time. Also, I feel my desired name change to Batman could now be in jeopardy.

My final error in judgement this morning was accepting Band Camp’s offer to write this backblast for me.

—
Cheddah