Fish Tales with Birdcage

We had 9 at varsity (2 for IronPAX, 1 proctor, and 6 for a Cindy beatdown. Here’s what we did:

Warmup
– 10 Low Slow Swuats
– 10 Mountain Climbers
– 10 Windmills
Mosey to get a cinderblock

– 10 Manmakers
– 15 Curls
– 20 OH Press
– 25 Flutters with a Press
– 30 Cindy Swings
– 20 Squats
– 15 Skull Crushers
– 10 Sit-up to Press
– Jog to AO Jones

Repeat 2 more times

NMM
Below is an AI generated backblast about yesterday’s workout. Some of it is true.

The sun had yet risen where the flags would be, and the usual quiet was shattered by the sound of furious guitar riffs echoing across the lot. Rumbling Bald himself had decided that today was the day he would reinvent himself as a heavy metal solo act. His amps were cranked to eleven, his hair (which may or may not have been real) was blowing in the breeze, and every bird within a mile radius had fled in terror.

In a parking spot nearby, Birdcage was already five tall tales deep. “And that’s when Dark Helmet single-handedly wrestled a grizzly bear with a lightsaber and taught it calculus!” he boomed, waving his arms dramatically. Nobody was buying it, but everyone kept listening because Birdcage’s delivery was too good to ignore.

Time Machine, meanwhile, sat cross-legged on the asphalt, looking like he had aged a century overnight. “What am I doing with my life?” he muttered, staring off into the middle distance. “I mean, posting at Varsity? Was that really my legacy? Out of all possible timelines, why did I land there?” He sighed so deeply that Rumbling Bald’s double-bass pedal briefly went out of rhythm.

Finally, Spiderman dropped in from a nearby tree branch, landing with a thud. “Hey, uh, what’s all this?” he asked, eyeing the stack of cinderblocks Italian Job had been planning to incorporate into Bald’s stage show.

“Those,” Rumbling Bald growled, “are for dramatic effect. I need someone to swing them into the pit when the breakdown hits.”

Spiderman looked at the rocks, then back at Rumbling Bald, then immediately raised both hands. “Nope. Nope nope nope. Swinging heavy things is not in the contract.” With a single web-thwip, he was gone before anyone could argue.

Birdcage stood, puffed out his chest, and pointed dramatically toward the horizon. “Did I ever tell you about the time Dark Helmet built an entire stadium out of marshmallows just to host the galaxy’s first interstellar dodgeball championship?”

Time Machine groaned, Rumbling Bald shredded harder, and somewhere in the distance Spiderman was still muttering: “Nope. Not my job.”

And thus, the morning at NaFo ended the way all their gatherings did—half concert, half existential crisis, and entirely ridiculous.

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Mark “Pitbull” McDowell WOD

We had 4 PAX at Honey Badger for a hero WOD in honor of my friend and classmate Capt. Mark “Pitbull” McDowell. Here’s what we did:

The Thang

– Run 1 Mile
– 5 Minute Plank to honor the 5 service branches of the US Armed Forces
– 200 Calf Raises
– 300 LBCs
– Run 1 Mile
– 100 Muscle-ups on the wall at the school
– 200 Merkins
– 300 Squats
Return to COT

NMM

Monday we honored my friend Mark. Mark was a 4.25 GPA student, captain of the soccer team, and an all-around great young man. He was the guy you wanted to hate because he was good at everything. But once you got to know him, you learned that he was the type of guy you strived to be. When he graduated high school, he attended the Air Force Academy. Upon graduation in 2005, he completed Euro-NATO Joint Jet Pilot Training at Sheppard Air Force Base, Texas, and Introduction to Fighter Fundamentals at Columbus Air Force Base, Mississippi. Captain McDowell completed the Basic Qualification Course – F-15E in May of 2008 and was assigned to the 336th Fighter Squadron at Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, North Carolina.

Mark’s plane went down in Afghanistan. He left behind a wife, loving family, and many friends. As his grandfather said at his service, “He was born to fly and he died doing what he loved.”

If Mark were here today, he would have been the guy crushing the workout from the front with a smile on his face. He would have been the guy to encourage the whole time. Remember, we GET TO do this. Some others aren’t as blessed.

Aye!

Italian Job

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Calm in the Crazy

WARMUP:
Moroccan nightclubs
Windmills
Cherry pickers
Hillbilly walkers

Mosey to pull up bars, 20 inclined merkins on curb
Every man grab a block and overhead mosey down to back parking lot for 4 corners
Every time you make it to the middle, it’s 5 man makers, and you bring your block to each corner. 20 thrusters, 20 upright rows, 15 goblet squats, 15 Cindy swings. After one time around, finish with man makers, then mosey back up to put your block away
THE THANG:
Official F3 deck of cards. Each card has an exercise and a number on it. Number cards are the number on the card plus 10, face cards are 25 reps, Aces are 100 reps. Circle up and each pax takes a turn pulling a card and everyone completes the exercise on the card
MARY: none needed
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:

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Chance of Rain

WARMUP: IW, HW, Merkins, MC, MNC,
THE THANG:
Thing #1
400M Run
21 Burpees
21 Heels to Heaven
21 Squats

400M Run
15 Burpees
15 Heels to Heaven
15 Squats

400M Run
9 Burpees
9 Heels to Heaven
9 Squats

Thing #2

15 Burpees
15 LBCs
15 Squats
Run 200 meters
15 Burpees
15 LBCs
15 Squats
Run 200 meters

10 Burpees
10 LBCs
10 Squats
Run 200 meters
10 Burpees
10 LBCs
10 Squats
Run 200 meters

5 Burpees
5 LBCs
5 Squats
Run 200 meters
5 Burpees
5 LBCs
5 Squats
Run 200 meters
MARY: No Time
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Newsletter
COT: Closed in prayer

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10×10

WARMUP:
Jog, some of the warm-up standards. Then run to base of the hill leading down to Springfield Elementary.

THE THANG:
10 exercises, 10 reps each (4 count). Pax do first exercise then run to top of hill and do one burpee. Round 2, do first and second exercise, then run and do 2 burpees. Round 3, do first, second and third, then run and do 3 burpees. Exercises listed below.

1. 10 Mountain Climbers
2. 10 Squats
3. 10 Shoulder taps
4. 10 Seal Jacks
5. 10 Hello Dollys
6. 10 Plank Jacks
7. 10 Bomb Jacks
8. 10 Merkins
9. 10 LBCs
10. 10 Burpees

MARY:
Around the horn for each pack to do some ab work.

Thanks for the opportunity to serve, Kaiser!

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ALLTHUMBS!!!

Arrived early to pick up Cindy and her friends ( just more Cindys ). After the party favors were loaded in the truck I drove to the band practice lot, needed 25yard spacing, why reinvent the wheel. As I was setting up the workout layout noticed some early arrivals, RUCKERS ( pretty sure this is a cult ). They were off before I could return to COT and wish them a pleasant trip, as the call to conquer unknown terrain hastened their departure.
Cindys were ready and waiting, workout layout complete, and old man stretching completed. LFG!

WARMUP: Disclaimer was disclaimed and we moseyed from COT to the band parking lot. SSHICx25, HBWICx12, CPICx10, MerkinsICx12. Pax moseyed around the workout layout to receive an explanation of the format/flow of the workout and exercises to be completed at each station. Finished at the center station where the PAIN would begin.

THE THANG: 2022 IPC Challenge – Week #2 – The “Belle” Ringer
AMRAP for 45 minutes
Set-Up -Make a 5-point star ( pain stations ) from a center location with each point of the star being 25yards away.
Workout starts with:
1. 5 ManMakers in the middle. Rifle carry to cone 2 and perform 10 “We’re Not Worthy”. Farmer carry back to center.
2. 5 ManMakers in middle. Rifle carry to cone 3 and perform 15 Goblet Squats. Farmer carry back to center.
3. 5 ManMakers in middle. Rifle carry to cone 4 and perform 20 Curl to Press. Farmer carry back to center.
4. 5 ManMakers in the middle. Rifle carry to cone 5 and perform 25 Cindy Swings. Farmer carry back to center.
5. 5 ManMakers in the middle. Rifle carry to cone 5 and perform 30 Bent Over Rows. Farmer carry back to middle.

Scoring: Total reps for 45 minutes of the exercises
Each complete trip is 125 reps

Sasquatch was King, well into his 4th round, followed closely by his fellow BOSSMEN partner Spectre.

The reward for crushing this workout -SKINLESS THUMBS!!!

MARY: None needed

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Civitas race, First Responder WO fundraiser ( stay tuned as SpiderMan brings the details in near future, gonna be epic!!! )

COT: Double D’s M and CakeBoss’s relative need our prayers for healing.

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Marine 16

WARMUP:
400m Mosey, SSH, Burpees, IW, HW, Windmill
THE THANG:
16 Reps Of The Following with 20m dash in between each exercise:

Burpees
Merkins
Squats
Mt. Climbers
SSH
Jump Lunges
High Knees
Jack Jumps

2 Rounds of 3 Burpee Pull-Ups

MARY: Yes – Jack Web / BBS & AH
ANNOUNCEMENTS: A lot – RYN
COT: Always

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King of the Ring VIII

WARMUP:
yea. Nothing fancy:
SSH, IW, HW, Windmill, yoga

THE THANG:
10 pull-ups
20 merkins
30 squats
Farmers carry 2 cinder blocks 440ft downhill
Run around Sugar Creek Elementary
Farmers carry 2 cinder blocks 440ft uphill
Bear crawl 50ft out and 50ft back

As many rounds as possible

Harry Carey was King of the Ring with 3 full rounds completed. He almost got done with the first Farmers Carry on round 4. :first_place_medal:

2nd place didn’t even start the bear crawls on round 3. :grimacing:

MARY: a few flutters in the wet for the 6

ANNOUNCEMENTS: newsletter (accessible from the homepage)

COT: was held

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Bald WOD

WARMUP:
SSH -20, Windmill -7, MNC – 10, Broga
THE THANG:
Round 1
40 Merkins
40 LBC’s
40 Squats – Run lap
40 Dips
40 Big Boy Sit-ups
40 Monkey Humpers – Run lap
40 SSH
40 Lunges – 20 E/L
40 Incline Merkins – Run lap

Round 2
Same as above – 30 Reps each
Round 3
Same as above – 20 Reps each

MARY: Broga
ANNOUNCEMENTS: RYN
COT: Always

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The Griff & The CIA 7

Well, the Site Q was under the weather so we :hand_with_index_and_middle_fingers_crossed: that someone would show up who had a key to the NaFo track. Thankfully, since it’s the first day of school, the football coaches had it open as the team had a morning practice. We debated for a few minutes whether we would risk going in or not, but after he drove away and left it open, we decided to risk it, especially since we had some nur-ing to do.
WARMUP: Windmills, Cherry Pickers, SSH, mosey to the track
THE THANG: The Griff:
Run 800 meters
Run 400 meters backwards
Run 800 meters
Run 400 meters backwards

In honor of U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Travis L. Griffin, 28, who was killed on April 3, 2008, in the Rasheed District of Baghdad, by an improvised explosive device strike to his vehicle.
Griffin is survived by his son, Elijah.

After that, we headed over to the bars and blocks for:

The Seven
7 rounds for time of:
7 handstand push-ups
7 thrusters
7 knees-to-elbows
7 deadlifts
7 burpees
7 kettlebell swings
7 pull-ups

A suicide bomber http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/05/world/asia/05cia.htmland one Jordanian officer at a remote base in southeastern Afghanistan on Dec. 30, 2009, after posing as a potential informant reporting on Al Qaeda. Seven new stars will be etched into the memorial wall at the CIA, forever in their names. Killed in the attack were CIA officers Jennifer Lynne Matthews, 45; Scott Michael Roberson, 39; Harold E. Brown Jr., 37; Darren LaBonte, 35; Elizabeth Hanson, 30; and security contractors Jeremy Jason Wise, 35, and Dane Clark Paresi, 46.

I thought that this was either going to go super fast or take us the rest of the time. It took us the rest of the time. It’s surprisingly a smoke-fest for your shoulders and arms. We walked to get our heart rates down back to COT.

MARY: LBC’s, Flutters, LBC’s again, Hello Dolly’s.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Bethel, New Gloom Scheduler, read your newsletter.
COT: Prayers for the first day of school for kids. Watch out for all of the kiddos on your drive to work. Prayers for marriages and kids traveling.

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