Tag: Maximus

When in doubt, blame Schwartz…

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With no announcement as to the Q for the day as of the afternoon of the night before, which is unusual for <@U02679GQ1AT>, but becoming very usual for The Fort overall, I mentioned casually that I would just take it. So, Barkley dared me to. No, I don’t know exactly why, but here we are. It made me think of this as a Reverse Flick. In what may be the most famous scene from the movie A Christmas Story, Schwartz dares Flick to stick his tongue to the frozen flagpole on the playground. He throws all convention out the door and skips the Triple Dare and does right for the Triple Dog Dare. Which, as we all know, must be completed for fear of ever tarnishing a man’s reputation. In the case of the Colosseum, well, the roles were reversed and the metaphorical Flick (Barkley) dared Schwartz. Look, no one reads these except <@UGU3XR5RP> anyway, and it’s a weird place up in my head… so I’m just documenting all this for evidence when my wife finally has me committed. She’ll need a preponderance of evidence that I am, in fact, not quite right. This will help.

I decided to “play all the hits” of the Colosseum for our workout, explained in slightly more detail below. But again, as we all know that these are written primarily for the stats, I won’t bother with large amounts of detail.

WARMUP:
I’m sure I did some really slow windmills and stuff

THE THANG:
– Light poles to the end (before the right turn to go up the hill)
– Stop at each pole for 5 merkins
– Head up the hill
– Stop at intersections for 15 (double count) flutters
– Down hill
– Stop at intersections again for 15 LBCs
– Run to back to the wall
– Far side of lot – bear crawl to the wall, over the wall 5 burpees, over the wall, crawl bear back
– Bottom of the hill, grab a rock
– Overhead presses and curls
– Up the hill
– Stopping at light posts for 10 jump squats
– Down hill
– Stopping at light posts for 5 lunges each leg
– Grab a rock
– Chest presses, and something else I can’t remember

MARY:
No chicks.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Read your newsletter.

COT:
The 5th Core Principle.

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No Warmup – Just Work On The Ranch

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WARMUP: Nope
THE THANG:
Run to the close end of the loop at SMS. 25 Merkins I/C
Run to the other end of the loop, 25 Squats I/C
Run to the other end, 25 Heels to Heaven
Run to the other end, 25 Freddy Mercury’s

Line up on the wall. While all PAX hold themselves in the up position on the wall, one PAX performs 3 Mike Tysons.
Cycle through until all PAX perform 1 round.
Next cycle, 2 PAX perform 3 Mike Tysons.

Mosey to the close end of the stretch behind the school
Run to the other end, 5 Burpees
NUR back, 1 Burpee
Run back, 25 Shoulder Taps I/C

Mosey to the loop on the back of the school.
Partner 1: Run the big loop
Partner 2: Elbow Plank
Perform 2 rounds.

Run (or mosey) to the playground
Partner 1: 15 Pull-Ups
Partner 2: Mountain Climbers
Perform 2 Rounds

The rest of the Weinke shall remain unknown.

MARY: Yes
ANNOUNCEMENTS: You know what they are.
COT: Yes

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C for creativity, not c for cookie

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WARMUP: disclaimer and go. No messing around.
THE THANG: Ran to the bank for stop 1. 5s and 10s.
– 5 = hand release merkin
– 10 = squats with chin up and hands touching the ground

Next stop was First National bank…5s and 10s. Thanks to Change Order for the idea for the next stop.

Next stop was the round about by model A. 5s and 10s with a 30 count in cadence of flutters.

Head down Hubert Graham to the bottom of the hill. 5s and 10s with 15 in cadence flutters partially sitting up.

Up HG to the light which wasn’t super close so was out of gas at the top. 5s and 10s with American hammer.

Now to head back the same way we came with 5s and 10s at each of the same stops.

Back at COT we did 5s with hand release diamonds and 10s of jump squats.
MARY: 3 rounds of Mary: LBCs, wipers, bicycles
ANNOUNCEMENTS: 7/22 Barry, 7/3 men’s dinner, 7/4 convergence
COT: ball of man for prayers and praises

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F3 Hyrox OR a Sink Workout

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WARMUP:
15 SSH IC
10 Cherry Pickers IC
10 Windmills IC
10 Imperial Walkers IC
10 Hillbilly Walkers IC
5 Burpees OYO

THE THANG:
F3 Hyrox

Run: 1/4 mile loop
Working Station 1: 100 HR Merkins

Run: 1/4 mile loop
Working Station 2: 100m Weighted Lunge

Run: 1/4 mile loop
Working Station 3: 100 Thrusters
(Modified to 50)

Run: 1/4 mile loop
Working Station 4: 100m Farmers Carry

Run: 1/4 mile loop
Working Station 5: 100 Bent Over Rows

Run: 1/4 mile loop
Working Station 6: 100m Bear Crawl

Run: 1/4 mile loop
Working Station 7: 100 Weighted Squats

Run: 1/4 mile loop
Working Station 8: 100m Burpee Broad Jump

Made it through the start of rows
MARY:
No time
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Sweaty Barry
Fourth of July Convergence
Bethel Men’s Shelter
COT:
Be cautious of pride and ego
Patience
Heat exhaustion

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Alcatraz – Worth Swimming To The Island

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I picked this Q up from Badlands just the other day due to a scheduling conflict on his end so I knew, at least I told myself, I should honor him with what would most likely have been a good workout. He probably would’ve called for a little more running but after all, I was the Q this time so while we did focus on Fitness, it was more strength-related.
I hope he was honored and Masterpiece was pleased with the outcome.

WARMUP: Sure, why not. I think we should run around the long side of the park and make our way to the bottom of Tega Cay Drive. There we’ll do Imperial Walkers & Merkins. What’s better than doing it once? Doing it twice. We stopped there.
THE THANG: Listen here fellas, we gonna NUR up a hill we usually RUN up. So here goes:
NUR 1/3 of the way up the hill, face down hill, perform 10 Derkins then run back to the start.
NUR 2/3 of the way up the hill, face down hill, perform 20 Derkins then run back to the start.
NUR to the top, put your feet on a curb and perform 30 Derkins then STAY PUT.

Next, follow me to the Pull-Up Bars…notice the “s.” That’s right, there are two, one bar allows you to gain an assist from the big ball and one allows you to perform the exercise the old fashioned way.
With two PAX doing pull ups, the other 7 will hold an elbow plank until it is there turn to grip the metal bars and fight gravity by pulling your body skyward.
We did 3 rounds of this then swapped out the elbow plank for squat holds and performed 2 additional rounds of pull ups.

Next up, mosey over to the top of Tara Tea Drive (3 people know where that is so look it up).
Lunge walk DOWN the hill. You’d think I was speaking Swahili by some of the looks I got. You heard me, lunge walk DOWN the hill but keep your voice down ’cause it’s 0657 and here under the dome in the venison village of Tega Cay, most residents still be snoozing…soft.
The PAX eventually did what they thought was a lunge walk down to the bottom and I was close to the “6”, which I love because, well, you know.
The weinke said jump squats which I know we didn’t do. 2 people MIGHT read this so what we did at this stopping point likely doesn’t matter. But for the 2 of you enthralled readers, we then sprinted up the hill (I wasn’t the 6, or the 12 for this one) and performed 5 Burpees for the passers by. Much to the surprise of absolutely nobody, Fish Sticks was the 12 on the uphill sprints. He sometimes makes me think he could fight Father Time and earn a belt for his efforts. Actually, Father Time just might be Senator Tressel and his knee brace that does nothing to slow him down, so I’m not sure if Fish Sticks would earn the belt. It’d be worth buying popcorn for that one, however.
Then jog down the hill back to the start. Here, I know we performed the Carolina Dry Docks then followed ‘Sticks to the top for 5 more burpees.
Two of these is enough.
Next up, mosey to the AO’s nice smooth parking lot. It’s way better now than the not-so-good old days of loose gravel and broken glass bottles of Miller Lite & Red Stripe left behind by the inmates reliving their All-State Softball days the night before.
Now, the Tramp Stamp initiator, AKA Captain Thor:
1 Big Boy Sit Up : 4 American Hammers I/C
We graduated up to 5:20 then kept the 20 ‘Hammers I/C while increasing the BBSU’s. So, 6:20, 7:20 up to 10:20…get it?

Take a lap around the baseball fields but stay on the grass; can’t get the kicks dirty.

Next up, Jack Webb the traditional way, with 1 Merkin : 4 Overhead Claps on up to 10:40.

Next up, 2 columns, Santini style.
Left foot forward and perform lunges. When we finished, we performed the “lunge pulse.”
Switch legs and do the same thing.
Drop to a plank for Hand-Release Merkins.
Drop to 6″ and now, Hand-Release Merkin pulses.

And, we’re done!

MARY: See above.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Yes, of course.
COT: Had to be there.

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Hills, Bells, and Balls

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WARMUP: SSH, low slow squat, merkins, Moroccan night club

THE THANG:
Carry bell to bottom of hill

2 rounds:
20 swings
15 goblet squats
10 bent over row each arm
Up the hill

2 rounds:
10 thrusters
10 tricep extension
10 curls
Up the hill

Carry bell back to COT

15min EMOM
1 guy carries the 100# ball 50 feet and back
Other guys do 6 alternating clean and jerk

BONUS FINISHER:
Group of 4 carry the 100# ball up the hill and back – guys not carrying ball carry KB. Switch out as needed.

MARY: bethel, convergence, sweaty Barry
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT: yes

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Wally World Run

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Nine men joined our brothers from Colosseum for a little Walmart shopping spree. Conditions were…unpleasant. Here’s what we did:

Warm Up
– 10 SSHs (IC)
– 10 Seal Claps (IC)
– 10 Imperial Walkers (IC)
– 10 Low Slow Squats (IC)

The Thang
– Run 1.25 miles to Walmart
– Partner up for Dora (100 Merkins, 200 Squats, 300 LBCs)
– Run 1.25 miles back
– 3.5 ish miles total

Before we left the parking lot, we put the rogue carts back into the corrals. It wasn’t our job and it wasn’t required, but if we didn’t do it, then I wonder who would have. Sometimes things have to get done even if it’s not our responsibility. Do them anyway. If not us, then who? If not now, then when?

-IJ

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Walking..talking… and doing some merkins

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Walked up Massey, down Harris, around WEP back to Harris then back to Vets Park.

Cadence was 2 minutes of movement 1 minute of work.

Started 5 reps each stop then ramped up to 10.

Got 3+ miles in and about 150 merkins and 150 squats.

Thanks for showing up on a muggy Sunday morning.

:punch: :punch: :punch:

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Last minute DORAs

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WARMUP: SSHs
THE THANG:
Dora #1 – Farmers Carry
– 50 burpees
– Squats w calf raises 100
– Mike Tyson’s 150
– Mountain climbers 200
Dora #2
– Man makers 50
– Goblet squats with calf raises 100
– Halos 100
– Plank pass throughs 100

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Hero WOD +

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WARMUP: Jog around the parking lot, including some NUR and side lunges.
THE THANG:
Part 1:
Police Officer Tara Christina O’Sullivan
Sacramento Police Department, California
End of Watch Wednesday, June 19, 2019
Police Officer Tara O’Sullivan was shot and killed at the scene of a domestic disturbance in the 200 block of Redwood Avenue at 6:10 pm.
She was standing in the yard while assisting a woman to retrieve belongings from a home when a male subject inside opened fire with a rifle, striking Officer O’Sullivan. The subject continued to fire at other officers, preventing them from reaching Officer O’Sullivan or rendering aid to her. Approximately 30 minutes later, an armored vehicle arrived, and they were able to rescue her from the yard. She was transported to a local hospital where she succumbed to her wounds.
The subject remained barricaded inside the home for several more hours while negotiators communicated with him. He surrendered at 2:00 am the following morning. The suspect had a lengthy criminal history of violence and abuse. He pleaded guilty to her murder, and in 2025, a jury recommended the death penalty.
Officer O’Sullivan had served with the Sacramento Police Department for six months. She previously served as a Community Service Officer and an Explorer. She was survived by her parents.
Tara set the Sacramento Police Department record for the plank hold at 26 minutes and 7 seconds straight when she was a recruit at the Sacramento Police Academy. The academy’s gym, now named the Officer Tara O’Sullivan Memorial Gym, was dedicated in her honor on August 30, 2019.
Buy-In: 26 Burpees
6 Rounds: 19 Cinderblock Swings
20 Push-Ups
19 Goblet Squats
Buy-Out: 3min 49sec Forearm Plank Hold (We’ll do as a group w/ 1 timer) – Dark Helmet & Harry Carry ruled this one.
If you need a break during the Plank Hold:
1st Break: 3 Burpees and return to the Plank Hold
2nd Break: 4 Burpees
3rd Break or more: 9 Burpees
The reps signify:
– 26 Burpees for the number of years she lived in this world
– 6-19-20-19 rounds and reps for her end of watch date
– 3 minutes and 49 seconds plank hold for Tara’s badge number
– 3-4-9 Burpees penalties also correspond to her badge number.

Upon completion of the “Tara” Hero WOD, we moved to Part 2:
The target is 4 Rounds:
5 Pull-Ups
10 Cinderblock Simbas
Run to the bottom of the hill
15 Carolina Dry Docks
NUR back to the top
20 Dead Lifts
Run to A.O. Jones & back

MARY: See above
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Need assistance with Bethel service.
COT: Indeed

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