WARMUP:
How do you know you’re just getting started? Well, <@UGU3XR5RP> tells you that you are taking too long with the disclaimer and such. But there was an FNG and I wanted to be a good example. I have no idea what possessed me to do so, as I typically (according to everyone) am NOT one, but alas… here we are. With a mustache that originated in 18th Century Europe and eventually made its way to the Western US roughly 100 years later, this FNG sported a handlebar that was worthy of a Wyatt Earp or William Howard Taft, duly elected 27th President of the US (that was for you, Camp). After a short warm-up lap there were, presumably somewhere in here, a few slow <@USBP08L1G> style windmills, some SSHs, and other activities to get the blood circulating. The FNG didn’t quite look afraid, only perhaps marginally confused, so we continued…

THE THANG:
We headed down the hill toward the entrance to the school(s) from Springfield pkwy, with a brief stop to pick up some rocks and lift them. Because we are men. Why else you would you do such a thing?

We also spent a moment or two of instruction along the way regarding the Mission, Credo, and 5 Core Principles. I am proud to state that the guys there actually did a really good job of getting them correct and I think the only penalty burpees that got leveled were my fault because I got ahead of myself and opened F3 to all men before first making it free.

Then we proceeded to complete a 1-mile circuit around both schools, with 9 or so stops along the way to perform 20 reps of everything as we went. First round was all together in cadence, including the burpees (in memory of Band Camp), the next round was on your own.

Exercises included:
– Side Straddle Hops
– Merkins
– Muscle-ups
– Flutters
– Burpees
– Curb Alperts
– Squat Jumps
– Double Leg Lifts; and
– Dips

Naturally, somewhere in there, Change Order (<@U012K8DDK7V>) managed to pull a Matthew McConaughey and get his shirt off. (see Matt Damon’s impression on David Letterman from like 20 years ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-HYL7VPNXI) .

As we returned back to COT, it was time to name the FNG. There is no moleskine section, so I will put this here. The FNGs name was Matt Mahood. Plenty to work with there… then there was the Taft-stache… plenty there as well… then he rips out that he loved cocaine and alcohol back in the day… he was a veritable fountain of interesting things… nothing was quite sticking and so I asked him about his family. In his deoxygenated stupor, he had to think for half a second before gently huffing out “wife, 2 kids”… then with no prompt “Amanda”… I said, “you named both your kids Amanda?” He looked a little befuddled and that was just long enough of a hesitation for the swirling snakes in my brain to land on “well, your name is now Hug&Kiss, as in Amanda Hugandkiss). And that was that. Welcome, brother… and way to take the name like a champ.

MARY: No chicks.

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COT: The 5th Core Principle.