No rain, just The Thunder

Chest/shoulders workout:
– Merkins
– Seal jacks
– HR merks
– Moroccan night clubs
– Derkins
– Overhead claps
– Incline merkins
– Donkey kicks
Back: 5 sets of 5 pull-ups
Cardio
– 20 LBCs IC / hill run
– 15 Bomb jacks / hill run
– 10 Merkins / hill run
– 5 Burpees IC / hill run
– 10 CDD’s / hill run
– 15 Bobby Hurley s / hill run
– 20 Big boys IC / hill run
Back: Max count pull up bar hang

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FYF: The Red Rocket Chronicles

9 (or maybe 10 and I can’t remember who the 10th was) found a safe space while <@U012K8DDK7V>‘s dog microaggressed a bunch of them with his red Rocket at Currahee…
– Ruby Slippers flew in 10 minutes early to be 5 minutes late
– Falcon Crest was hoodwinked early in his rucking career by Mainframe into buying a 45# plate, which is something he is sure he’ll eventually be grateful for
– 3D’s GTE prep continues, but he doesn’t mind if it doesn’t include any more Crawl Bears
– Italian Job only sang 3 90’s hits, which is indicative of how tired he must be from his weekend in Wichita
– For a hearing doctor, Decibel claimed a lot of “unable to hear” for his lack of compliance with instructions
– fishstix taught us his award winning atomic wedgie techniques to be employed at a later time. Probably when you aren’t looking.

WARMUP: OMS (old man stretches)

THE THANG:
Evolution 1 = 1-mile time hack – 14 minutes to complete
– Starting at corner of school, around big loop clockwise, turn left to go behind the school. Take the outside lane in the small lot, then take a left around the big loop and continue to the flags at entrance of school

Evolution 2 = Furman University (FU): founded in 1826 (14 minutes)
– 18 man-makers – buy in
– 26 curls
– 26 merkins
– 26 OHP
– 26 bent over rows
REPEAT if time (minus the man-makers — we forgot the deadlifts)

Evolution 3 = Abdomination
– Buy-in = bear crawl from crosswalk to crosswalk
– 40 2-count flutter with press
– 20 Simbas
– 10 double leg lifts

Evolution 4 = Hate loop time hack – 8 minutes
– Buy-in = crawl bear back to crosswalk 1
– ½ mile loop
– Big loop to small loop

MARY: No chicks
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Read your newsletter
COT: The 5th Core Principle

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Improve VO2 max per Dr. Attia’s 4 by 4 recommendation

WARMUP:
– Down Dog with Calf stretch’s
– Laying Pigeon L/R
– Stabilizers L/R

THE THANG:

Go all out on workout sets and push yourself into Zone 5

– 4 minutes of Clusters x 4 minutes sandbag loaded walk.

– 4 minutes of Loaded squats x 4 minutes sandbag loaded walk.

– 4 minutes of Man Makers x 4 minutes sandbag loaded walk.

– 4 minutes of over shoulder sandbag tosses x 4 minutes sandbag loaded walk.

– 4 minutes of Sandbag running x 4 minutes sandbag loaded walk.

MARY: NA
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Read your newsletters…
COT: It is what it is…. Prayers for those going through it right now.

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Baker Mayfield is not Pence

WARMUP:
SSH, merkins, squats, Broga

THE THANG:
Untraditional 11s. At first I wanted to go all the way through from 10 to 1, but YHC quickly realized I wouldn’t be able to make it so I modified as needed. We worked through the first two exercises from 10 down to 8, then flipped to the next two exercises. Then flip back down for 7-5, then flipped back. Last set was 4 to 1.

We got through two sets of exercises before time ran out.

Merkins alternating hand on bell
Chest press

Second set
Squats
Set ups (each leg as 1)

Next round
Curls
Single arm row (each side)

Swings
Nut cracker

Solid workout and 0 running. According to my watch I burned 600 calories.

MARY:
No time left
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Read newsletter
COT:
You had to be there.

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Honoring the OGs-13 years of The Dort

WARMUP: mosey to front of FMMS. All exercises done IC, 13 reps. SSH, squats, Mtn. Climbers, MCs
THE THANG: head to the bottom of the entry hill & grab a coupon. 20 curls, run up and back, 20 tri extensions, up & back, 20 squats, up & back. Rinse & Repeat. Head to the wall for wall sits & Flying Squirrels. To the court for an old school Dora with Merkins, Squats, LBCs. Last stop: grassy area for some Jack Webb. Solid group that included all 3 of Headspin’s sons. Enjoyed leading these men in the Gloom
MARY: no time
ANNOUNCEMENTS: FM Care Ctr., upcoming Convergence, read newsletter
COT: prayers for Badland’s biopsy & Double D’s family.
Signed,
Short Sale

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No one asks me to carry heavy things.

WARMUP: A variety of warmupy things. Maximus could have done windmills the whole time.
THE THANG:
Everyone carried a ruck or weight vest, sand bag and KB. Did. Big loop of the car line and then stopped in the parking lot
Worked island to island in the parking lot
KB 20 curls / lunge walk with torso twist
Repeat
Sandbag 20 squats / Sumo walk
Repeat
KB 20 OH press / waiter carry
Repeat
Sandbag 20 upright rows / sand bag toss
Repeat
KB 20 tricep ext / goblet carry
Repeat
Sandbag 20 Deadlift / rifle carry on chest
Repeat
KB 20 American Hammers / Farmer carry
Repeat
Sandbag 20 Clean / Shoulder carry
Repeat
Back to COT the short way
MARY:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:

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Fish Tales with Birdcage

We had 9 at varsity (2 for IronPAX, 1 proctor, and 6 for a Cindy beatdown. Here’s what we did:

Warmup
– 10 Low Slow Swuats
– 10 Mountain Climbers
– 10 Windmills
Mosey to get a cinderblock

– 10 Manmakers
– 15 Curls
– 20 OH Press
– 25 Flutters with a Press
– 30 Cindy Swings
– 20 Squats
– 15 Skull Crushers
– 10 Sit-up to Press
– Jog to AO Jones

Repeat 2 more times

NMM
Below is an AI generated backblast about yesterday’s workout. Some of it is true.

The sun had yet risen where the flags would be, and the usual quiet was shattered by the sound of furious guitar riffs echoing across the lot. Rumbling Bald himself had decided that today was the day he would reinvent himself as a heavy metal solo act. His amps were cranked to eleven, his hair (which may or may not have been real) was blowing in the breeze, and every bird within a mile radius had fled in terror.

In a parking spot nearby, Birdcage was already five tall tales deep. “And that’s when Dark Helmet single-handedly wrestled a grizzly bear with a lightsaber and taught it calculus!” he boomed, waving his arms dramatically. Nobody was buying it, but everyone kept listening because Birdcage’s delivery was too good to ignore.

Time Machine, meanwhile, sat cross-legged on the asphalt, looking like he had aged a century overnight. “What am I doing with my life?” he muttered, staring off into the middle distance. “I mean, posting at Varsity? Was that really my legacy? Out of all possible timelines, why did I land there?” He sighed so deeply that Rumbling Bald’s double-bass pedal briefly went out of rhythm.

Finally, Spiderman dropped in from a nearby tree branch, landing with a thud. “Hey, uh, what’s all this?” he asked, eyeing the stack of cinderblocks Italian Job had been planning to incorporate into Bald’s stage show.

“Those,” Rumbling Bald growled, “are for dramatic effect. I need someone to swing them into the pit when the breakdown hits.”

Spiderman looked at the rocks, then back at Rumbling Bald, then immediately raised both hands. “Nope. Nope nope nope. Swinging heavy things is not in the contract.” With a single web-thwip, he was gone before anyone could argue.

Birdcage stood, puffed out his chest, and pointed dramatically toward the horizon. “Did I ever tell you about the time Dark Helmet built an entire stadium out of marshmallows just to host the galaxy’s first interstellar dodgeball championship?”

Time Machine groaned, Rumbling Bald shredded harder, and somewhere in the distance Spiderman was still muttering: “Nope. Not my job.”

And thus, the morning at NaFo ended the way all their gatherings did—half concert, half existential crisis, and entirely ridiculous.

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Birdcage Lifts off

WARMUP: SSH for 50
Windmills, Merkins, cherry pickers, low slow squats,
THE THANG: 30 Burpees, mosey to corner
Bear crawls and Merkins alternating for 40 yards
Lunge 30 yards,
Run to the hill
5 rounds of 10 squats, 5 CDDs,
Down the hill – 10 Navy seal burpees,
3x Run the hill, 10 BBS
Jack webb of burpees and SSH from 1 to 6
MARY: Flutters, Freddie Mercury, Hello Dolly
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:

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substi-Q at the pond

My boy Poppins blew out his hammy doing something in the shower… sounds wild… so I figured PAX could chase me around for 45 minutes instead.

Pledge at 5:14 brief disclaimer and LFG

Out and back route up main street, right at light, turn around at QT.

Stopped a bout every 1/4 to 1/2 mile for in-cadence exercise escalator style.
Instructed PAX to join in on whatever exercise happening when they arrived

20 SSH IC
Add 5 merkins IC
Add 10 Squats IC
Add 15 OH Claps IC
Add 20 wide arm Merkins OYO
Add 25 LBCs IC
Add 15 Lunges IC

3.5 miles total

Feel better Pop

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Legs and core plus broga

WARMUP:
Windmills, Moroccan night clubs, low slow squats, mosey to benches, number of pax x 2 for step ups on the benches

THE THANG:
Leg web :leg: :spider_web:
1 squat, 4 cal raises; 2 squats, 8 calf raises… progressive to 10 squats and 40 calf raises
Run to bars, not really, we couldn’t run, so speed walked to pull up bars.
Run to bottom of hill, 10 SSH, NUR (run backwards) to first tree :deciduous_tree: and do 5 squats; run to bottom of hill, 10 SSH, NUR to second tree :deciduous_tree: and do 5 squats; run to bottom of hill, 10 SSH, NUR to third tree :deciduous_tree: and do 5 squats; run to bottom of hill, 10 SSH, NUR to fourth tree :deciduous_tree: and do 5 squats; a few pax did an extra circuit.
ABS web
1 big boy sit up, 4 heel touches; 2 BBSU, 4 HT… progressive to 10 BBSU and 40 HT. Lots of mumblechatter after this one.
Mosey to COT AREA

MARY:
Broga for 13 minutes. Great way to end a simple but effective workout.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
flag handoff to Splinter; 3,4,5 and 6 folds by different PAX

COT:
Stays in COT

TINSEL :christmas_tree:

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