Good morning!
David Green / 53 / CSPAN (Can’t Seem Place A Name)
Welcome to Qsource – today we are talking topic F4 “LDP” for week 4 (posted Jan 23, 2022).  I always like to start with a story of how we got here. In my life journey, I always get positive feedback on the way I develop leaders, so while I am not an expert, I want to share with my thoughts regarding ways I see leaders developing
opportunities for other leaders.

First off, leadership is not necessarily a God given gift, most leaders have a long trail of failures followed by a few triumphs that everyone remembers, if you are ready to understand that it takes a perfect combination of God Given gifts / Opportunities / Arrogance (a positive fear of failure) / and determination or grit to be a successful leader, please continue to read on. Side notes for another day, you can take that leader and move them to a site across the street and they will transform into a failure because one of those variables being off – seen it happen and push on if you are currently in a bad leadership situation.

Here is my BLUF –
1. Lead with love
2. Show them leadership and the work
3. Allow them to do the work with your oversight and with limited responsibility for failure
4. Give them all the work with some responsibility
5. Step yourself out of the situation, let them work, cheerleader them to their success

First story is Zima, an absolute great guy. Liked F3 but was very comfortable keeping us at arm’s length, I applied the steps above and got him involved with First F (fitness), he enjoyed it, got super energized and I just rode beside him for a few years as he did the same technique to other men. Now every Zima mile you run, and I’ll toss in a sarcastic “that mile was 2.87 miles”, and “you are welcome”. Zima is now an extremely successful husband, father, and real estate leader in our community.
Second story is our man Dark Helmet, he was looking for so much more when he showed up at F3. I used the technique above and added the Double-D treatment that I got upon my arrival. #ALR (Ask Listen Remember) this gave me the opportunity to see the benefits DOAH could bring with a very specific form of leadership and communication skill to improve our group. He just needed more #4, and #5 has been so enjoyable to watch. Helmet is now on ‘fire” for all things leadership, and he showed up thinking he found what he needed, but really F3 found the leader that we needed.

I’ll end with a few work stories. I use the same exact format when training General Managers. With General Managers it is more about #3, and building their confidence, getting some success, and gaining the trust of others on the team. On the topic of trust, #1 is how you develop leaders at any level, to take interest in someone and investing in them changes their worldview. Almost all my leadership success stories at work revolve around being their first boss who cared if they truly improved. Getting better was not always nice, it was calling out and addressing a defect, as loving as I could.  Leaders love authentic leaders and can sense, and call bullshit a mile away. Be very careful as you start an LDP because you may come across as “rough/mean” but authentic love will always come through, and drive the desired results.

I can go on and on – please start the discussion – and shoot me a DM or text if you want to continue the conversation.

AYE!

QSource 2022.03 – Group (F3) 

**Note I realized I needed to add before posting… When I refer to “Dredd” in the following missive I am referring to one of F3’s founding members and prolific publishers, Dave Redding.  The many references contained herein are from his book Q Source.

When asked by Tesh to write an article for his QSource disruption I was quick to say yes, when he told me my topic was Group, I chuckled a bit.  The reason?  Will knows that I grew up in a special sort of Group and I have very strong opinions on the value of said groups…  Dredd tells us there are three types of groups in the world: the community, the organization and the team.  Well, I have a fourth group that jumps to mind, the cult… It often takes shape in all three of the other group distinctions and I worry that more of us than would like to admit are members of one.  SIDEBAR: if you are using Miriam Webster’s “Essential Meaning” of any words, you are a moron.  A definition is a definition.  I don’t need Webster to boil it down for me, but I digress…  

Webster eventually defines “Cult” as the following: 

1: a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious

2: a: great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work (such as a film or book) especially : such devotion regarded as a literary or intellectual fad

b: the object of such devotion

c: a usually small group of people characterized by such devotion

3: a system of religious beliefs and ritual

4: formal religious veneration 

5: a system for the cure of disease based on dogma set forth by its promulgator

Let’s skip #1 in that list, leaving that to the Branch Dravidian’s and focus on #2.  Great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work.  Dredd tells us that Man is by nature a group forming being, so we are pre-wired for coming together with others.  Most of mankind is also pre-wired to desire a bunch of people around them to make them feel more comfortable delegating their decision making to someone else in said group.  Take a moment and reflect on the groups you are a member of today… the neighborhood you live in, your workplace, your church, your college, your vaxx status, your fraternity, military branch, F3, political party, Facebook group, Shield Lock, etc.  Some of those are standard groups we all notice, some others, not so much.  Seems that lately we are pretty good at creating new groups, sub groups, groups for others and on and on.  

Dredd defines group as a voluntary combination of two or more people, and clarifies that group membership is never coercive.  Well, we have certainly seen that change in the last couple years!  I have watched and listened to many people join groups they didn’t want to join out of obligation, out of fear, under duress and every degree in between.  My question is, why are we so dang desirous to be in a group, and more importantly, why are we so scared to be kicked out of a group?  

Now, to be fair, having grown up in a cult, I am allergic to groups.  I have spent most of my adult life like Groucho Marx, never wanting to join a group that would have me as a member.  I remember being surprised by the “correct answer” to Dredd’s first Socratic, “Is man’s natural desire solitude or combination?”  I was quick to say “solitude!”  Only to find out the correct answer was quite the opposite.  After years of reflections I am not sure why I tilt toward solitude.  Was it my family of origin?  Was it the cult?  Was it a toxic combination of both?  Whatever the answer, my family now is the only group I fight to stay a part of every day.  It has been a struggle over the years because when things got challenging my answer was usually, “we would both be better off on our own instead of forcing things here as a couple.”  

My allergy to group was not healthy, but I postulate our desire to be a part of groups is similarly  unhealthy.  Do we take the time to consider whether we are joining with another to the improvement of ourselves and those impacted by our group?  Are we surreptitiously  joining with others on social media and serving as a mob to attack the others?

Some of the groups we associate with will be necessary evils, like our HOA or employer, but most others we are absolutely free to choose.  When the group you hang out with on Sundays tells you who is and who isn’t worthy of or receiving Grace, maybe you question.  When you find yourself confident that the opposing group you are yelling at is definitely evil thus proving your righteousness, maybe you question.  When you find yourself blending into the group so someone else makes the decisions and you just go along, maybe you question.  When you cling tightly to your membership of the group you thought was right, but now realize it was wrong and you don’t want to admit it to yourself, maybe you question.  When you want to leave the group you promised to love and cherish till death, maybe you question.

Remember when your parents asked you whether you would jump off a bridge because your friends did?  Maybe they even quoted Proverbs 13 to you and you probably rolled your eyes.  We are older now, but often no smarter.  Be judicious about who you join with and who you are ready to cast out of the group.  Once you figure out which groups are healthy to join, figure out how you will lead because we all lead whether we want to or not.  Rarely is there no one behind us following us following the leader.  Cults are built on irrational devotion to fuel their power and impact on the world around them.  Regardless of what Creed told us in The Office, cults are destructive and more prevalent than we may want to admit as we certainly have no shortage of irrational devotion these days.

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.

– Proverbs 13:20